lalala

i never thought being fickle-minded was bad...i mean, the choice is mine after all. but now, even i am annoyed at myself! i wish i had the confidence to carry through a decision once i've made it. i tend to waver and have excuses about one decision, proceeded by excuses for the other! sigh.. there's no pleasing myself. i wonder if it's just a character flaw, or am i merely being a girl (yea, shoot me) or is it a lack in confidence? call me when you can answer that. i have to admit though, that i do like to dissect every decision into minute pieces just to satisfy myself that i have covered every base.

i do admire those people who can make a decision, stick by it and argue for the reasons they made it in the first place. i actually have no problems doing the latter myself. only the former two haha. but don't they ever wonder WHAT IF. is it wrong to even ask that question? does asking it mean you are not contented, easily shaken, or have nothing better to do? proponents of not asking will argue that it's pointless to ask that question anyway. cos what's done is done and most of the time you can't do anything abt the aftermath anymore. so you're just picking at the wound. once you've made the decision, be happy with it! it has something to do with psychologically supporting your own decision hence it will BE the right decision blah blah..

i, on the other hand think that there's nothing wrong with wondering. keeps my mind occupied hehe. it's so interesting to extrapolate the different outcomes of certain decisions you made IF ONLY you did it differently. yeah, sometimes it's depressing, but it can also mean that you're strong enough to move on and accept it. it doesn't mean you're not contented. so there.

____________________________________