on being mean

why are we mean? we were taught not to be (most of us at least). the weirdest thing is, at the very moment BEFORE i say anything mean, i already KNOW it is mean. and i still let loose! sigh.. it boils down to self control then right? urgh... what does that make me. a work in progress :)

i'm not proud of it, but bear with me. a few more hard knocks and self-control would slowly seep in. the aftermath is always painful. my conscience butts in, guilt fights for supremacy with remorse, and i feel like i've kicked the other person where it hurts most. stewpid stewpid. it's no fun to hurt someone needlessly, what more someone you love dearly. hard lesson to learn. but i'm glad i'm learning it now.