E06 youth conference

after mths and mths of preparation, training and practices, E06 is over!!! i can't believe it! i have withdrawal symptoms now, esp about what to do with my time on sundays! i reluctantly say that i miss all those gruelling hours of not really knowing what is the whole picture, and just simply trusting that God will show up during the week long conference. i can't really describe the conference. all i know is, those who attended, pastors alike, commented that they have never been to a conference like this. because it's so personal and focuses on each individual.

all delegates were broken into 3 streams; teens, college and young adults (YA). i was a facilitator for the YA workshops. boy, was it an emotional roller coaster! the workshop contents were painstakingly gone through with a fine tooth comb by pastor LC, and each facilitator had to 'look after' groups of 8 to 10 delegates. talk about personal service! we had to sort of 'minister' to them (for lack of a better word) via the workshops. we also had to teach certain parts of the workshops, and of course this didn't go down so well with many of us, cos most of these delegates were strangers to us.

i'm just thankful i had a bunch of 40 YA facilitators in the same boat. so we would moan and groan abt how nervous and scared we were, as the conference loomed closer. all of us are working adults, with hectic work / love / family lives outside of church. and to put in so many hours after work at church, going through training sessions after sessions is no walk in the park. many a time i sported a tired, blank mind as i sat there, dreaming of a proper dinner and my bed.

in hindsight, it's been SUCH a wonderful, tumultuous, awesome journey i can't describe it in words. after seeing so many of the delegates' lives impacted through the workshops and personal ministering, every single minute of sweat, tears and stress was worth it. many of us facilitators share the same feeling that if only one person was impacted, it would have been worthwhile. but many were. and no surprise that the ones most impacted were the facilitators and organisers themselves!

merely because we had almost a year to process all the contents and issues brought abt through the w/shops. the YA delegates only had 3 short days. many were brought to tears at some w/shops where some issues really touched them and made them see with different eyes.

the many testimonies the facilitators shared at every de-briefing session at night spoke so much of how god moves in people's lives. of how god REALLY loves each person, and honours each person's struggles and fights in life. each life is so precious and important. i'll think twice before i ever say i hate my life in moments when i'm being pessimistic and stressed. it cheapens my whole life. i'm ashamed of all the times i've said it so flippantly. just to express my boredom or restlessness at the moment.

i'm so glad for this conference. so honoured to be an integral part of it.i've learnt so much, stuff you can never learn out of books. the learning process wasn't easy at all. we were all stretched to extremes, as work suddenly got busier, nights ended later, proper meals were scarce, and helping out for a certain 'somebody's' wedding turned out to be such a demanding task.

most of all, the comradship between the facilitators now is pretty cool. i'm also quite amazed with some of the adults who were roped in to be YA facilitators as well, cos i know they were a bit terrified of the rambunctious, cynical YA's they might have to encounter as delegates. they consider us a different generation from them, so i don't blame them for being worried. but they are such a cool bunch, who really care abt the YA's and have a heart for us. i am quite inspired by them.

i dread thinking if there will be another conference like this, but then again, i think i would jump at the chance of being a facilitator again.

wedding prep

first of all i can't believe our big day is just 3 mths away! all this while, last week included, i always thought (shows you how much i think) it was 6 mths till all systems go. good grief. imagine my shock, anxiety and panic when i asked ad why he was preparing all his lists etc so early, and he replied that we only have 3 more mths to prepare. argh!!! *smacks head*

so i have taken it upon myslf to go into panic mode. this is merely to spur me into action. alas. panic mode only lasted abt 3 days. HAHAHA. i am back to being my plaid, stoic self. i know it's becos at the back of my mind, i know ad (being the super organiser he is) has and will get everything nicely sorted out. i just have to affirm or veto his proposals. ooo i love him so much!

we will be having a food tasting cum meet the in-laws session next week at the hotel. it's quite fun actually... i feel quite excited at the prospect of finalising more stuff! yeah, got to make the most of every preparatory minute since a wedding is only for the one time :)

am i malnutritioned?

i must have taken a detour from the food pyramid in the past few years. i am so lost it's hard to be found. the route i have taken day in and day out started out by me disregarding a few sign posts along the way. now, taking wrong turnings have become a habitual part of journeying through the maze of proteins, fat and carbs. note that i didn't mention fibre and vitamins. oh yes, and the small but important minerals.

i am in such dire needs to be fed properly. i am eating absolute rubbish everyday. i hardly think the measly, requisite scraps of shredded, day-old spinach in my wan tan mee and the sad, brown strips of taugeh in my laksa count for anything in my daily requirements of vegetables. sigh...

my immediate remedy was to eat more economy rice (yucks). i have never ever deigned to even walk near any economy rice (mixed rice) counter in any coffee shop cos the food looks so undignified - mostly with a dried crusty layer of starch filled sauce on top, or reeking with recycled oil. need i say more. but in my quest to ingest some vegetables in my daily diet, i've tried to add some of those shiny green stuff they call vege into my white styrofoam box. it's so gross. i don't understand why they have to beat up and drown the poor vege in so much oil. did i miss the headlines where they decreed that oil is free now?

bleh.. anyway i don't think that's helping me eat healthily at all. it's probably also contributing to my continued, fatigued state. i am one of those fortunate people who get to sleep the required 8 hours a night. i sometimes stretch my luck to 9 or 10 hours a night. and yet i still feel fatigued the next day! there's something wrong here i tell you.

i'm hardly stress-laden. i sleep well in quantity and quality. i am usually relaxed and happy when i reach home after a (hard??) days' work. so the only conclusion i have made is that i'm eating absolutely nothing that's good for me. i thought fried chicken skin was very nutritious. oh well. better not give so much money to kfc now. but it's so convenient.. pop into the shell petrol station, pump in some fuel, drive past the drive-thru window and there you have eat... dinner for two. yum. ok, got to stop all this soon. how can one resist this:



fine..i shall go to jusco tomorrow evening and buy a weeks' supply of salmon. that will be my lunch for a week. i'll have enough omega 3 and good fatty acids to last me till my next fast food binge. doesn't look too bad, this healthy thing:



anyone know any caterers in the damansara region? i so need one now....i think it's ALL about the presentation. and the fact that you don't have to prepare and wash up!

i have the most wonderful friends...

i just recently made the acquaintance of one through the E06 conference being organised by my church. i never thought i would be able to click with someone like her. on the surface it looked like that. but she's just utterly lovely. she's motherly, but with such a protective naivete about her. and it's just such fun exaggerating everything to her just to watch her expression. shocking her is my cheap entertainment of the day.

i admire people who are just soft at heart and so willing to go the extra mile for you, regardless of whether you deserve it or not. i don't think i've reached that level of maturity and self sacrifice. to be sure, it also puts you at risk of being taken advantage of, and served with ingratitude. but to actually laugh at the face of cynicism and take a bold step towards graciousness is to be admired and accorded the accolade of courage it deserves.

i hope these wonderful people rub off on me!

i'm still a chicken and a cynic at heart.

long, boring speeches and meetings

i hate it when someone says a meeting is scheduled to end at 3pm and by 3.45pm they are still going on and on about the same mute point. enough already! don't they know that after 20 minutes they've already lost most of everyone's concentration and attention? by that time i'm probably noticing that you need to get your roots done, or else give up dyeing your hair. or that the tight, stretchy top you're wearing really does nothing for you. yes, i'm turning into a bitch right about then. but that's because you misled me by promising to end the meeting in 10 minutes but you know you won't.

i wonder why people do that. do they enjoy hearing themselves? or are they afraid of the anti-climax which inadvertently sets in once they bring a halt to their tirade. sometimes i wonder if they're afraid of not having an (obligated) audience who have no choice but to hear them out, as if it's their only chance of being heard. maybe it makes them feel more important.

but really, i have no patience at all with people like that. if they have salient points to make, i'm more than ready to listen. but to go on for 2 hours on a single point. either they're lonely people who rarely have the chance to be heard or they think we're stupid. that we cannot digest that single point in the 10 minutes it would normally take for a reasonably intelligent specimen to understand. sigh...

and the rest of the audience... they still listen rapturously although they must be bored out of their minds. if it's someone 'important' who's speaking, they'll pretend to nod in understanding and attempt to radiate a semblence of intelligence while thinking what's for lunch. i really can't be bothered. i'm one of those rude people who will purposely let my feelings show by presenting the most bored look i can muster. i let my eyes glaze over. if i'm being really mean, i take out my handy mobile to play bubbles. but i try not to let it show cos i do understand it's really unnerving to have someone do that when you're speaking up there. but please, give us a break. time your speeches. we are busy people.

i can't stand it when a colleague has a complaint about the work of another and he or she doesn't address the issue but enjoys bitching about it to all the staff. what's the point actually? to earn points through your martyrdom? like you've never made a mistake in your life? forgive me, but i thought the most important thing would be to solve the bloody problem and bring it to the attention of said staff's manager so action can be taken to prevent future mistakes.

but nooOOOooo.... they have to go on and on and on and on about it. declaring to the whole factory floor that the 'people upstairs' (like there's a stigma attached to it now - apparently we are quite stupid). there's this manager in my company whose attitude i abhor. i'd rather listen to roof shattering heavy metal music then her voice. it grates on me. like someone tying me up and forcing me to listen to the screech of running a fork across a blackboard. i'd rather eat live worms.

i think her sole joy in her career is to wait patiently while one of the members of the 'upstairs club' (i think she resents the fact that we have cushy sit-down jobs in and air-conditioned room while she doesn't) makes a mistake or forgets something. then she pounces. and the whole company (including the surrounding housing estate) can hear her screeching about our stupidity (of course not through obvious accusations - she's too sly for that). it's always masked under a very martyred expressions, and it's carefully worded to avoid accusing that person directly. hence the accusation at the whole 'club'. but a bird with half a brain knows what she's on about. good grief. just have a decent conversation about it, how the bloody difficult is that???!! i am so put off by her that i can't stay at my desk while listening to her rant and rant at the top of her voice. to no one in particular, but making sure everyone knows that she has to do double work and stay back late to correct this mistake.

some people really have to get a life. or seek other modes of padding their self-worth and self-image.

*picture courtesy of edward munch