rose tinted glasses

pangkor laut

2007-02-08T13:47:00.000+08:00

nice greeting after the hour long ferry ride (not so bad with ad there):

first things first: FOOOOOOD!! but this was the nice appetizer:

the view from where we had our 1st lunch

sheer bliss to jump into the pool to cool off, then eat, then jump in again. i realised i am sooo unfit. duh, actually not really surprised there. two laps and i'm panting like i just climbed mount kk.

ad had the biggest burger i've ever seen.. with everything on top. wow.. it was massive. i fell in love with the pizzas and more or less ate pizzas everyday we were there.

after our very satisfying lunch, we headed to the nice private beach and just slept and talked and read and drank lots of coconut water. hahaha. this is the life...

ad hates it when i snap him whenever. he'll probably make me take this photo down. but it was so nice.. just doing nothing and lazing around

end of an era

2007-02-05T10:37:00.000+08:00

ok ok, maybe era is a bit over doing it.. but to me, it's really the end of an era. the era of my life where i'm confined to only talking about where to buy the cheapest nasi lemak, which is the best way to soak stained clothes and where i have to second guess everything that's being said in mandarin/cantonese/hokkien. *phew* what a relief!

i never realised how much this has taken a toll on me. the forced camaraderie with colleagues whom i would never foster the same kind of wavelength had i met them anywhere else. i am not a snob; i realise these are sweet, simple and sincere people. probably one of the least threatening and least intimidating i'll ever meet. but then again.. u have got to understand that i need normal human contact!!! ppl of the same background, upbringing and exposure.

i tell you.. after 2.75 yrs here, i have started speaking like this : "you eat what?" - when asking them what are they eating for lunch, "what you did?" - to make the printer jam, and various other mangling of the english language. just so i can communicate my point across. i am so pathetic. talk about falling under the influence.

the infamous phrases i always hear, which always make me cringe:

if someone tripped - "oh you so poor" (erm? i assumed they meant you poor thing and it's got nothing to do with their financial health)

some work thing gets bungled up - "i am back to square" (ok, i think they meant square one here).

it's pretty funny when you think of it. but i am not going to think about it anymore!!! as of march 1st i am outta here!! the place where everyone thinks i am the odd one out, the place where i just can't fit in, the place where i'm the only one who knows what a blog is!!!! wheeeeeeee........

but then again, i am also leaving the place where i can drive out at 10am to get a burger if i'm hungry, where i can come in a bit late if i'm stuck in a jam, the place where i can walk anywhere and get any information as and when i please, the place where anything i say is given weight and where most of my requests are entertained. bleh.

can't believe i'm saying this, but i think i'll miss this place, mangled english and all.

2007-01-23T17:02:00.000+08:00

I have been nesting… that’s what happens when you get married and move to a new home. It has been a blur of decorating, fixing and cleaning. Now my home is my haven. Especially the study. However, cosiness breeds laziness. I am now not inclined to go out once I’m home. And I am also inclined to mold myself to the sofa and be happy. Bliss…

We had a couple of parties to usher in the new year. It was a blast. Some of our friends went for watch night service, then came back to the party. The rest of us were too lazy. So we chatted and played taboo. Sooo funny. It’s hilarious how it brings out our kiasu-ism and competitiveness.

We switched off all the lights when it was nearing midnight. Then lit candles everywhere. Everyone held one. Then we counted down, blew all the candles off and hug hug kiss kiss scream scream. Then we opened a bottle of wine and yam seng-ed! That was quite spontaneous and funny actually.

The following week we threw another party for Ad’s friends. I was the good little wife, washing up in the kitchen etc cos Ad did it for our 1^st party. It was quite fun actually. Tung Yin, Sharon and I had a nice chat while the rest of them were bringing the house down with their Taboo game. In the end the ruckus was so incredible the 3 of us ran out of the study to see what brought it on:

Word: Freeloader

A very over excited Koh: “When Leong drinks.. he..??”
Everyone: “Is blur! Is drunk!”
Koh: “No! He never pays…!”
Adrian: “He’s a freeloader!!”
To which everyone screams in laughter and Leong is blur and Koh is so embarrassed and apologizes profusely.

Another one:

Word: Master Bedroom

I forgot who: “Before sex you..” (gets interrupted by):
Henry: “Masterbed…” (gets interrupted as everyone takes it as ‘masturbate’ and won’t let him live it down)
Poor Henry. I think they won’t let him forget this any time soon.

Needless to say I did not cook, nor prepare the food. We conveniently tah pau-ed everything hehe. We don’t even have gas! Good grief. I can get used to not cooking ;) but I don’t think it’s very good for our arteries in the long term.

photo diary (night)

2006-12-21T14:29:00.000+08:00

walking into the war zone haha:

perfect depiction of me being overwhelmed by all the unfamiliar faces of ad's family! i think even ad was shocked at the sheer numbers that greeted us when we opened the door to the vip room!

focusing, focusing on the reason we're doing all this:

adrian welcomes me into the ballroom by serenading me: (i had no idea - as is for most of the whole day)

my crazy MC's; ad's best man, jerral (politician in the making eh?)

my popo and adrian.. having heart to heart talk :)

taking a break; listening to our MCs tell stories

on stage with our heng tais and chee muis. don't they look grand :)

we had to ask our heng tais and chee muis to lead the toasting cos both our families were stage shy! and chicken.

My family - mum's side

ad's gang:

Darling FOJ-ians (without whom my deco wldnt be as gorgeous):

OJ-ians!! also part of our wedding committee:

claire, me, weipeng, meilin:

uni friends, old friends:

dear adelyn, tirelessly executing everything. no wonder i cld relax on my big day :)

my ham sap co-MCs and fellow rebels in cell:

showing off our sexy shoes to ah jon:

papa and mummy post their bedtime:

ad's dad and mum:

picture diary (morning)

2006-12-21T11:51:00.000+08:00

wiling away time cos my chee muis were super late

the boys in all their glory and matching pink ties!!

out the door, down the stairs:

i didn't know ad was singing while i walked down the aisle. chieh! wasted... he should have told us, instead of surprising us. we all thought it was the cd...

and papa kept whispering to me when we were walking down the aisle: "eh.. walk faster, we are the last'. duh... i'm the bride. i'm supposed to be last. "eh.. they reached the front already". "pa, stop stepping on my dress". "pa! sloooowerrr..!!!!" "eh, adrian is singing la!! look look!" "are you sure??". "yes la! walk faster"

my favourite pastors:

both mums burnt their fingers cos they used the tea lights to light the bigger candles. haha.. their eureka moment only came after the whole thing was over:

the best moments of the entire day:

mr and mrs lim!!!

my wedding day recap

2006-12-21T00:54:00.000+08:00

i really enjoyed myself on my wedding day. but i actually have no idea what actually transpired during the day hahaha. strangely enough i wasn't tired or exhausted as most ppl warned me about. i think it's the adrenaline high that accompanies being the center of attention for a whole day! hahaha.

it was great to be quite oblivious to the many panic attacks that visited themselves upon my friends at the last minute. apparently my wedding day was fraught with last minute crises. ooo how lovely lovely to be able to chuck it to the back of my mind and assume that it will be taken care off. and it mostly was! cos i obviously never knew the difference. i love my husband for being the calmest of calmest and just trusting god that everything will turn out ok.

list of crises:

- our worship leader was struck by dengue 2 days before our wedding and had to be hospitalised. it was quite serious. and becos he chose all the really cool but difficult songs to play, the rest of the worship team didnt have the confidence to play without him. so... voila! up stepped wallace and the team to change every single song and play superbly with only 1 practice. wow... lots of faith being put into action there! i was blithely unaware of how stressful it was for them. i just said... ah.. you guys can do it. and i didnt even bother to ask what songs they decided upon. so it was a wonderful surprise (not really la, i knew they would do a good job - they're all veterans) that worship on our wedding day was super. we loved the songs.

- my deco person forgot my headpiece. so i had no flowers for my hair for the church wedding AND the dinner. so we yanked a few rose buds from the bridesmaid's bouquet in the morning. and took some flowers from the table arrangements in my hotel room for dinner. hah. we plucked different coloured roses from some arrangement in teh VIP room during dinner also. cos i forgot my change of dress. haha

- power outage at the club before the church reception started. and our poor worship team were in the midst of their only practice. good thing dad knows ppl who knows ppl. and voila! we got the power back on 1/2 an hour beofre the service started i think. oooo.... how melodramatic

- my bridesmaid left the communion in my house. only realised when we were 1/2 way the the club. problem solved with wonderful ppl who had backup.

- my whole gang of chee muis were fantastically late (the heng tais wanted to sabo them and break into my house and ask them for angpows instead) becos my bridesmaid's tyre got punctured really badly. i dunno how we managed to start the service on scheduled time, but we did.

reasons i didnt panic and cry:

- adrian was an absolute rock and merely laughed everything off and said don't worry i prayed already. so it'll be taken care off. waaaahhhh! even i don't have that kind of level of faith hahaha. so obviously that faith transferred to me, so i also didnt bother much.

- mei lin told me at the end of the day, the most important thing is being married to the person you love. so all these details are mere icing on the cake. i just needed to focus on the whole point of the day. which is being married to adrian!!!! and thank you thank you thank you my darling beloved mei lin. becos for every single crisis that happened, and every single thing that didnt go according to plan, i always remembered what you told me. and you know what? that was one of the main reasons i totally enjoyed every bit of it. it kept me focusing on the right thing.

it didnt even bother me that my dress was super loose and i had to keep tugging at it. so lame. serves me right for not trying anything on at all since i took my photos. which was 6 mths prior. heh.

what a wonderful day...

on married life

2006-12-18T10:54:00.000+08:00

wow.. it's been ages since i've updated any posts. they're all saved as drafts. problems with my broadband connection for eons.

old entry:

MARRIED!!!! at last! still fantabulously giddy when i think of it. to think that 2 years ago, the idea of marriage was quite off putting. i have to eat my words now :) if only i knew how lovely it would be i would have done it sooner and not balked at it. haha. the benefits of hindsight. many ppl have asked me what's the best part of being married. here's my humble answer: to wake up next to the person you love most in the world, and his face being the last you see before you fall asleep.

i think your whole mindset actually changes. so it's really not the same as when we're courting. i can't quite describe this change, just that it's an immense knowledge knowing that you are part responsible for another person as well, and that another person is depending on you. yeah, it's cool.

it's also involves lots of conscious effort and commitment not to take each other for granted. of course, we're still in the honeymoon phase so it's not apparent yet. but we're well aware that familiarity and apathetic feelings can creep up slowly and subtly, hitting you only when the symptoms are quite severe, and it's harder to reverse. so.. we must always be on guard. see? i actually paid attention during our pre-marital counselling sessions. heh.

rants

2006-11-16T10:39:00.000+08:00

finally... something our PM says that i agree with. i just hope it's not rhetorics as usual, as many of the speeches made by politicians are. (i do wonder whether they can keep track of all the false promises they make, or whether they recycle them depending on who their new audience is)

quoted verbatim from the star:

A nation should provide channels for its people to voice their concerns and where constructive criticism was encouraged, the Umno president said in his opening speech yesterday at the party general assembly.

“Differences of opinion should be viewed objectively and not necessarily be seen as being anti-government,” he said.

The media, he noted, now had greater freedom to publish news highlighting the mistakes of the Government and its agencies. The Government, party and elected representatives, he said, were not immune to criticism.

“But there are those in the Government and the party who are uncomfortable with this freedom. There are those who believe that the Prime Minister is not in control.

“The truth is that I would rather see heated exchanges in the pages of the press than to see raging riots on the streets.

unquote

what would be even better would be if the heated exchanges resulted in a positive outcome for the lay ppl. after the uproar regarding zakaria's (the non-mention of his title is deliberate as it's an insult) palace and his other cronies' mansions without permits, all they received was less than a slap on the wrist. is our state government actually insulting our intelligence? by stupid remarks like 'he didn't do anything wrong except not apply for the permit etc etc'. geez... wake up guys. we are not that stupid. did anyone try to find the answer to the question of the origin of his immense wealth, which culminated in the building of that egoistic-booster of a mansion?

and don't you just hate it when moronic public servants make even more moronic spastic comments, and then claim that the press 'misunderstood' them? HARLOOO!!! this trick may work once, but all the time? come on... at least be a little more creative with your excuses. the fact that the penang municipal council president's remarks that a reporter's 'sexy' outfit warranted the attention of a cctv technician in focusing on her thighs just shows what kind of ppl we elect to represent us. he is more than a pathetic moron. he's taking us back all the way to the times when women were persona non grata. did his parents educate him properly? do the ppl he mix with breed this type of 'male chauvinist pig-ism'. talk about being backward!

actually, the fact that he thought the reporter's clothes were sexy really shows what he's missing huh. he's either been trapped in a time warp or he really hasn't been watching tv for the last 30 years. you kinda feel sorry for the little twerp. he must be so deprived.

i personally don't think a public apology is enough. i think he should be sent for some sort of brainwashing / re-training / or rather re-thinking programs.

communicating with a guy

2006-11-15T14:43:00.000+08:00

Welcome to my world:

Me: WaaaaAAAHhhhhHH!! This green is really nice.. .sort of apple-y cum natural leaf colour. It goes really well with the other white walls. And especially since we have dark wood furniture. Don’t you think so? Is this green ok? Or you prefer a more earthy, olive green look?

Ad: White is better than the ori.

Me: Huh? (thinking to myself: does this mean the green is nice as well, or is it just the white that’s nice.. and does it go together? Tell me tell me! Describe describe! Since I’ve been banned from going to our new home until it’s more complete)

Ad: It looks bigger

Me: Huh? What looks bigger?

Ad: The rooms

I tell you ah… I cannot get this guy sometimes. Like… I NEED details man…

my worldly goods

2006-11-15T14:42:00.000+08:00

all my worldly possessions are now either stuffed unceremoniously into boxes, or they are about to. it's strange how a home you once thought was cosy and welcoming is reduced to a minimalistic existence of a bed and a sofa. the walls are stripped bare, the personal touches wrapped in ungainly old newspapers, and everything that's me is tucked away.

*sob* it's no surprise then that going home doesn't seem so appealing now. my home is always my haven.. it's now just a place to go back to sleep. i can't wait to move. not least because i can start nesting again :) i am itching to get started on our new place. it's currently being painted, and the furniture and my stuff will be moved in this saturday. then it'll be a mad mad week of unpacking and cleaning up before the wedding.

this is what my current place looked like when everything was in its place:

this is what it looks like now:

but i have lots of good memories in this place

ladida.... i think i'm gonna miss this place. especially the landscape and the pools. hah. not like i made much use of it. it's straight from the car to the unit for me... you can tell i'm not one to appreciate my surroundings until it's taken away from me. bleh.

sale!!!

2006-11-14T15:50:00.000+08:00

because i'm moving out, i've been forced to dig deep into crevices previously unsearched before in my wardrobe to pack all my clothes. good grief... what nasty surprises lay in wait for me.

i can't believe i have a pair of cargo pants. me??!!! cargo pants! with their requisite side pockets and all that. ewwww... i cannot believe i bought them. i was probably depressed and in need of shopping therapy. yeah, that's right. i was out of my mind. it is just so not me. i believe i haven't worn it before. i should be thankful for small mercies. but one of my friends was so excited when i told her i had a pair, cos she really wants one and her husband won't let her buy one since he's in a quest to feminise her. i'll gladly unload my pair to her man. she's more than welcome to it.

another 2 friends can't wait for me to have a closet sale. so i have actually set aside clothes which i haven't worn before, or have worn a few times, and which i don't think i'll ever wear again. sigh... i can't believe i have all this stuff that i've accumulated over 2 years! talk about hoarding!

i'm not bothered taking it with me to our new home. it's either going to be sold off to my friends, or left there hahaha. sale sale sale!! anyone interested in many halter necks?

the new tenant of my current condo is interested in buying my furniture. ooooo i am so hoping he does! and the best thing is, he and his gf seem to like the stuff which i don't mind getting rid off, since ad and i have already bought new stuff.

out with the old, in with the new! *fingers crossed* since he's going to come see it again tonight.

people with zero personality

2006-11-13T17:08:00.000+08:00

it's blardy annoying when you invite ppl to your wedding and their rsvp means = erm... i think it's a yes, but don't be surprised if i FFK, since i tend to do that. but you can put it as a yes first. i'll see whether i'm too lazy to make it.

what the ???!!!

and i hate it that inviting someone to your wedding has become so 'political'. some ppl, you're just obliged to invite, cos you just HAVE TO. damn and blast. and these are the morons who give you that kind of response. geez... gimme a break. and have some manners for goodness sake. urgh!

a wedding will always let you know who your true friends are. not least through their response. actually, let me rephrase that. a wedding will show you who are those with personalities. and who will just plod through life, oblivious of the fact that they are pathetic morons with no basic manners.

i had to do the obligatory invitations for the office. and boy, i can honestly say i didn't do it very sincerely. dad says i have to invite all the managers at least. i don't actually have a problem with that, just that a couple of them loathe me and let's just say they aren't on my bosom buddy list. but i HAVE to invite them, since they're managers. *gag*

a couple of them were so incredibly rude, actually most of them were. some didn't even bother looking me in the eye when receiving the invite. there was no congratulatory wish, no thank you, no nothing. one even told me, without even looking at me to leave it at his table cos he was busy. okaaaay... i'm not desperate for your wishes, but have the courtesy to say thanks, at least. sheesh. i wonder where they were educated. or whether they are at all. how do ppl get along in life with zero personality and zero social graces? i can't believe i WORK with these ppl! i can't believe they are working for my company!!! *waaaAAAHhhhHHHhh*

granted, not all of them were like that, but majority were. that's bad enough. and they're managers! that's what i can't believe. i know i shouldn't be biased and prejudiced, but ok.. all the rude ones were chinese educated. a mere coincidence? i dunno.. am i going to get shot for saying that? you make your own conclusions.

my bridal shower

2006-11-08T08:51:00.000+08:00

it was one of the nicest gathering of friends i've ever had. adelyn organised it soooo well, together with ann. we had a sushi party, and i heard they were preparing since the afternoon. ann painstakingly went to look for all the required recipes etc etc. so semangat! i would have been quite happy with dominos pizza haha.

but the whole spread was very impressive, for a bunch of sushi novices! even the miso soup was delicious, and packed with all the yummy stuff inside which you only get a smidgen of when you eat out. i think everyone had more fun preparing the sushi and secretly hoping it would turn out ugly so that it would be deemed too ungainly for the sushi trays, and they would have the excuse of gobbling up. heck, even i wished that when i tried my hand at a california roll. i was way too greedy and the ends couldnt quite meet to make it a roll hahaha. tasted just as nice though.

the process & the results:

after dinner, they sat me down with questions to answer about my relationship with ad. i had to choose my answers from a variety of cut-out pictures which they had earlier cut from magazines. it was quite amusing how they know us quite well by now. i could find almost all my answers from the stack of pictures they offered. one example: what would ad love you to do with him. answer: outdoor-sy stuff like camping etc. and they had a picture of a four wheeler splashing through a river. in the end, all pictures of my answers were pasted on a big black board, which will be framed up for me.

photo of my board:

after the interesting Q&A, of which i won't divulge here, they each presented a gift to me. the theme was kitchen tools/apparatus which i can use in my new home. awwww... they are so sweet. each tool presented came with a card from the giver, stating the meaning of their gift, with other encouraging words. i was so touched by all the thought that went into this.

my darling friends:

the long break (not!!)

2006-10-27T10:52:00.000+08:00

we started the long raya break with a bbq bang :) the heavy heavy downpour didn't stop us in the least. we just waited it out. mostly cos we were hungry, and too lazy to go out to eat in the rain. my cell had a bbq bday celebration for all the october babies, yours truly included!! we had it at likxon's condo in mt.kiara.

watiting for the rain to let up: i like this picture cos it looks like an out of body experience. but it's mostly cos i don't know how to adjust my camera for night views. bleh

sitting pretty and finishing the marshmallows cos it was raining cats and dogs, and that was the only 'prepared' food we had:

i must say the guys really stepped up to it. i was quite impressed with how they started the fire (manually!!!!!) by blowing on it!! cos no one remembered to bring a fire starter. my darling fiance got his leftover five o'clock shadow singed off, how convenient..too bad i didnt take any photos of how RIDICULOUS they looked!!! HAHAHA

guys are so desirable when they know how to cook:

but they cooked everything for us while the girls just sat around chatting and making hungry faces. we demolished almost the whole packet of marshmallows cos we just cldnt wait anymore. the food was so excellent that till this day i am still dreaming of the one drumstick i let go off cos i was too stuffed. i haven't tasted barbequed meat so well cooked and succulent b4. mmmmmm....

i am so proud of my baby and some of the guys for cooking non stop in the fierce heat from the fire without complaining or eating also. they just served us all the time and waved away any enquiries to whether they wanted us to feed them. EXCEPT for one guy. bleh... so mega ungentlemanly and uncouth ok. urgh...just sat there demanding more chicken or sausages or mushrooms or bacon. he couldn't even get up to get it himself (as his gf pointed out)

gee... i only noticed this when the first ever plate of food was brought to the table by the mighty guys. being the gentleman, i know the rest would have let the famished girls eat 1st as there wasn't much on the plate. instead this specimen grabbed almost all the food while everyone else was left standing ard the table and staring at the fast disappearing plate. hahahah.. i would have been MORTIFIED at such manners if this person were related to me in any way! good grief! this was the pattern of his behavior the whole night. i don't think i was the only one who noticed tho. i think his gf noticed this too cos she quietly chided him that he'd already had enough when he asked for another piece of bacon. i guess she was embarrassed cos lots of other ppl wanted the bacon but hadn't eaten it yet, whereas this fella had already grabbed a few pieces by then. not once did he offer to help the other guys who were cooking. actually, not once did he move from his chair. sigh... he should be ashamed of his behavior but i don't think he even realised it. *shakes head*. to think that the rest of the guys hadn't eaten yet cos they were cooking for us. and one of them was the birthday boy himself. it was left to the girls to keep some food for the cooks.

other than that everyone had a really good time. needless to say i didn't notice the other guys talking to this fella. and i pointedly did not bother talking to him also, cos i simply can't bring myself to put on a polite facade and talk to someone whom i'm a bit irritated at. what a poser.

the birthday babies:
male bonding:Stef & I love this photo cos it looks so glowy & artistic hahaha:

nerd alert

2006-10-26T08:45:00.000+08:00

i know i've said that weddings are a good excuse to meet up with old frens that u haven't seen in yonks. sending out invites are also a good excuse it seems. i was busy doing that over the long break, and it was quite productive and fun.

it's somewhat reassuring to know that your school and uni mates haven't changed since you met them. with the exception of bigger savings accts and more groomed appearances haha. but then again, anything would look better than our requisite jeans and whatever-i-can-find-before-i'm-late-for-lectures t-shirts. i find some comfort in seeing them looking nice and groomed, cos it validates my own need to look that way. Not least becos I was SUCH a NERD! And them too heehee.

Seriously. We all looked so uncool in the uniform of basic coloured baby T-s and jeans (at least they were not the carot-cut types - **gag**) and loafers/sneakers. How uncreative. And you see these ang-mohs in uni who at least made the effort to look like they had some modicum of time to get dressed in the morning! Makeup was not in our vocabulary. Anyway with the Malaysian society of students as it was, anyone wearing makeup would be considered a vain pot or whatever.

I remember one of those (frequent) days when I really couldn’t drag myself from my electric blanket heated bed to go for lectures. This always happens in winter. For the 9am lectures. How ungodly. Unfortunately this one day was the last day of lectures for a particularly stupid subject which I took. I kinda skipped every lecture except the 1^st and now, the last which I HAVE to go for. By the time this dawned on me I was so late I just dashed out the door in my pyjamas! Granted, it was quite decent – track pants and some sweater I could have shared with another person, it was so huge.

This just shows how much I actually cared about my appearance. I guess at the time I was more interested in ace-ing every subject and traveling to every imaginable spot in Australia. Clothes did not figure much then.

Enter final year of uni. By that time I think I was quite confident academic-wise, so I really let loose and enjoyed myself. Not to mention we were all fully adapted to our new host country already and could act like we owned the whole place! That’s when the real fun began. And that’s when we started becoming fashionistas.. but that’s another story. But now you know why we’re so vain now. I think it must be to erase all memories of bad-clothes-days previously.

2006-10-19T14:32:00.001+08:00

So I just finished addressing all our wedding invites with the help from my absolutely marvelous, fantabulous friends last Saturday! Wheeeeee!!! We did it in only 1.5 hours.

I was so stressed that day cos Ad and I were about 2 hours late meeting them in Ann’s house. Cos we had NO idea that carting all those stuff from ikea was going to take absolute yonks! We spent a total of 4 hours in that place!!! bleh… I’m glad that’s over. Taking note of what we want to buy is sooooo not the same as actually looking for the stuff, carrying it to the checkout and to the car! Thank goodness Ad has some semblance of muscle man in him. I would have died if I were to do it alone.

We arrived in Ann’s house totally out of breath, in need of a shower and the bed. But Ann being Ann, she had nice bowls of pak koh tong sui laid out, and nice curry puffs, and nice drinks… and she bought me nice, lovely, artsy fartsy pens to write with, not the mention art wires which I intended to use as part of the card deco. (Idea scrapped cos it’s too blardy hard to do!!! Sob…)

Ann is so sweet that when we scrapped the idea of the wires etc, she pretended that she’ll be using the wires for some other things, and the pens as well, so she wouldn’t let me pay for them. I feel so bad! Cos she went shopping for me to get them!

And she is so humble and unassuming as to wonder whether I would invite her to our wedding. Duh… of the biggest order. She actually asked Ade quietly whether she would be invited cos she was planning a family holiday abroad and didn’t want to miss our wedding. And when she took a peep at my guest list and couldn’t find her name (she was looking at the wrong list), she felt even worse.

Oh dearie me… isn’t she the absolute funniest / adorable-st. To think she is offering us her home to be the venue for my hens’ party / sleepover, she’s part organising it esp the menu (popiah and sushi), and she’s helping me with the wedding preparations… and she actually thinks I’m not going to invite her. **Sob** How can I not invite her? I just love her! She makes my day especially since she takes all our corny, mean jokes so seriously. It’s such a laugh teasing her.

I am just touched and humbled by how supportive and helpful my friends have been. Planning our wedding has been one of the best fun so far. I say so far.. cos I know the RSVPs are gonna kill me.

Having so much love and support for your big day is really overwhelming. I wonder what I've done to deserve all this. I really don't actually.

Busy at work: Addressing envelopes, stuffing cards into envelopes, sealing them (Ad's talent); Ann is busy getting us food so she's not in the picture

Some of our wonderful helpers at our 1st 'wedding committee' meeting. i'm so embarrassed!! i have a committee!!

my birthday!!!

2006-10-16T14:32:00.000+08:00

My family celebrated my birthday with Jap food.. ooOoooo yummy. But the person who took our photo completely cut off my dad’s face! Boo. What a grouch pot. So we didn’t even ask her to re-take. Good food, good company. Adjourned back home with stuffed stomachs to slouch around till midnight to cut my cake!!! Yes, I’m older but I still like my cake!

This is us stuffing our faces:

This is us after our shower, sans respectable clothes, after a full stomach and lazing at home; a pyjama ad if there ever was one:

This is what happens when we are too free / see each other too often / or not / there’s too many of us at home at once

2006-10-09T11:04:00.000+08:00

Can u BELIEVE what our PM says these days???!! Good grief! I am floored. Might as well listen to a fire hydrant for all the sense he makes these days.

The latest case of him trying to be smart is about denying that the New Economic Policy (some call it the Never Ending Policy) has met its goal of 30% bumiputera equity interest for the malays (he says that they have only achieved 18.9% equity stake), versus the Asian Strategy and Leadership Institute’s (Asli) report that states that Bumiputras owned 45% of the country’s business equity.

This report (which is an independent report), cites statistics from the Bursa Malaysia Corporate Equity’s 2005, which estimates that the amount of bumiputra equity ownership is 45% of the RM715.4bil worth of stocks on the stock exchange, or RM325.08bil.

According to The Star, “Prime Minister Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi was recently quoted as saying that Asli’s 45% Bumiputra equity ownership result was wrong as it was based on a survey involving 1,000 companies listed on Bursa Malaysia, while the Economic Planning Unit (EPU) had surveyed 600,000 companies to come up with its 18.9% figure for the Ninth Malaysia Plan.

Badawi also says that Asli’s report is inaccurate because (get ready for this): “Government-linked companies (GLCs) are not bumiputra companies”. What would you classify them then? A ‘special’ corporate entity? If you exclude these companies from the poll, then you might as well not poll at all. Almost all the monopolistic big companies in Malaysia are GLC’s. It’s a bit ridiculous excluding some of the largest cap companies in the country from this report.

This is like taking a national poll on obesity and excluding the VERY HUGE people because they will skew the results. Gimme a break. Who are these people who makes these rules?

Another shocker: the PM claims that Asli’s report is inaccurate also because they calculate the value of a company using it’s market value, as opposed to the par value used in the government’s calculation.

DUH!!!! It’s such a stupid comment I cannot even believe I read it! The Edge has a good article on this. I think a 19 yr old finance undergraduate can tell you that NO ONE values a company using its par value! How ludicrous is that?!!!

Look, I buy Maybank shares. I bought them for about RM 7.50 some yonks ago. It’s par value is RM1. It’s market value now is about RM 11.20 ie. it’s trading in the Bursa now for RM 11.20. Heck if I’m gonna say my share is worth RM1 when it’s jolly well trading at 11.20! I’m not going to sell my shares for RM1 (par value)!!! I sure as heck am gonna sell it for RM11.20.

So, the PM thinks that companies shld be valued at par value. Okaaaaaay. I’m a bit worried here for our nation. I think this one remark of his is gonna make us a laughing stock to anyone who reads The Wall Street Journal or The Financial Times, not to mention our local papers!

more shoes to drool over

2006-10-07T18:20:00.000+08:00

my favs:
drool worthy manolos

my fav in this collage is the brian atwood in the middle. and the two ballet shoes. heck, i love'em all.

2006-10-06T17:26:00.000+08:00

Yay! It’s fridaaaaaaaaaay! My lethargic, uneventful week has taken a hop-skip-and-jump turn just because it’s Friday! And today, I am entitled to TWO steaming hot cuppas! ** My unhealthy allowance for the week. (Let’s not remember the chocolate cake for supper on Wednesday and the sausage snacks in bed to induce sleep)

Not to mention I just completed a horrid spreadsheet of stuff. So I’m home free this weekend!

Tonight will be attending Ad’s cell – we’re meeting at one of the adults’ home cos we’re having a so called ‘health’ talk. Which will most probably degenerate into obviously cloaked questions abt reproduction and what not, just becos the guy’s a gynae. Anyway we can be a cheeky bunch. I would actually like to test my boundaries with my questions. HAH. Cheap thrill.

Ad and I wanted to finish writing and addressing our wedding cards this weekend but the printer bungled up the cards. The insides are printed upside down! HAHAHA. Anyways, it’ll be fixed by tomorrow I think.

Behold! A shopping trip with ML tomorrow! I hope I find some gorgeous shoes. I’ve gone a grand total of 4 weeks without buying shoes! Not for any righteous reason though. It’s cos I can’t find what I want. Long sigh….

OooOO have another wedding to attend tomorrow. Fun fun. Photos to come later. Supposed to select flowers on Sunday night with MG, our really talented friend who’s doing our wedding deco. Unfortunately postponed. Or fortunately, cos I promised my Dad I’ll be home for dinner and I forgot.

I want dusky pink roses. But apparently dusky means a lot of different things to a lot of different ppl. Bleh. Really hope peonies are in season! Cos that’s my flower of choice, but only subject to season and availability. Sob. Oh well.. pink is pink.

If I have time I’m going to transform my many cool, cute ‘mooncake’ boxes (I dig the boxes more than the mooncakes inside!) into jewellery boxes or ‘whatever’ boxes to store stuff. It’s really pretty to store your girly stuff like sample bottles

can a girl ever have enough bags & shoes?

2006-10-06T17:11:00.000+08:00

my wish list:

hermes long kelly - it is sooooo sleek

Miu Miu bag (you would think miuccia prada would design some cute stuff like this for her prada label huh..)

another Miu Miu

very cute flats but forgot by whom. who cares? they are cute and would look good with my denim capris and new cropped cardi. boo hoo.. how come i can't find anything like this here?

marc jacobs ballet flats!!!!!! i'm in lurve...
marc jacobs peep toes

are you drooling yet?

2006-10-04T18:01:00.000+08:00

i've been reading the recent uproar over s'pore's minister mentor 's (is that some moniker for someone who just can't give up power?) remarks about how the m'sian govt marginalises the chinese here. hmm... we're treading on dangerous ground here people. especially if you agree with the old man.

not that i particularly like lee kuan yew, but i do admit that he is a brilliant man. and i do acquiese to his observations that the chinese in malaysia are subservient and submissive. if we aren't, why am i cautious abt admitting this? why are all of us careful about what we blog about? even if it is supposed to be our personal space. we're not really free to express anything of this sensitive nature, esp when it comes to racial differences or racial nepotism.

we put up with it. what choice do we have? it's just the way things are, and whether we like it or not, it'll continue to be this way for yonks. of course our m'sian counterparts lashed back that the chinese here are successful and happy and are the largest equity stakeholders. why not? we work damn bloody hard for it. nothing's handed down to us. so of course we bloody well are successful. that's a huge DUH if you ever ask for one. we all know it's not a level playing field here. the reason is economic planning; to 'create equity among the races to prevent another may 13'. well, to a certain extent i see the point in this. however, i'm sure it irks us that this 'reason' or excuse or whatever gets taken advantage off by a select, chosen few who become grossly wealthy, while the rural poor remain marginalised!

whether we gloss over the fact, or pretend that it doesn't exist in this country, it's anyone's prerogative to do so. live in total ignorance if you want, tan sri or minister so and so. i somehow understand that you have to. can't afford to create another racial ruckus yeah?

but for those of us who are so immune to this, coating each sentence with the insinuation that 'they are like that wan lah' whenever the topic of wealth integration arises; doesn't this just prove that we are in fact totally submissive to this? call it active passimism or active submission if you want. it's submission all the same. that's just my humble opinion.

the means to the end may be justified, but along the way, the true hardworking ppl (including the rural poor) are marginalised by the few who seek the easy way to wealth, through whatever means and whatever strings they can pull. all in the name of economic planning.

me? sew?

2006-10-02T13:53:00.000+08:00

i just finished adding embellishments to one of my dinner dresses. *phew*. that was hard work. i felt like i was an underpaid, overworked minion in one of the sweat shops. bleh.. i would NEVER attempt to make this a part time job. sheesh. now i know why dresses with hand sewn beads and stuff on it is so expensive.

i was on a roll. momentum got me going. that's the only explanation i can give to having spent almost 8 straight hours sewing. but what a great sense of achievement i felt after that haha. it's finally done. and i'm quite pleased with the results actually.

maybe i can start embellishing other stuff now. gee.. did that just come out of my mouth? i take it back

the devil wears prada

2006-10-02T09:26:00.000+08:00

i read the book abt 3 years ago, ovlivious to the furore that was taking place behind its bitchy, gossipy pages. i nevertheless enjoyed my brief encounter with new york's glamorous, hyped-up fashion industry. i am a girl after all, and the book is peppered generously with beautiful clothes and the latest va-va-voom fashions. you need to use your imagination, and at least have regular binges of fashion magazine to truly enjoy the decadent lifestyle it portrays. if you're on teh right side of the fashion tracks, that is.

imagine my glee in finding out the movie version was being made - i get to feast my eyes on everything fashionable and beautiful. so i watched it last saturday (to ad's chagrin) and i must say, i did enjoy it for the most part. a girl can never resist beautiful images of beautiful things! it's the most fashionable movie i've seen. i am still drolling over andy's (the protagonist) tweed chanel coat. not to mention her borrowed manolos.

but i need to gripe about said devil's hair! i cannot imagine a fashion editor (in this case, a thinly veiled representation of anna wintour, editor of fashoin bible vogue) with white, un-dyed hair. it's so not done. and although meryl streep's character, miranda priestly looks sophisticated and pruned, i wouldn't say she's taking advantage of her lofty front row perch in every fashion show. her dressing is a bit blah to me. i much prefer andy's makeover in chanel, chloe and what not.

i read about the great wintour's icy fury over the book, written by her former assistant, lauren weisberger. too close to home truths? anyway, it's a well-known fact that anna wintour is the reigning ice queen in the fashoin world, never too shy to wield her power over the world of publication and hollywood. it's said that she's threathened any designer or model that they would be banished from the hallowed pages of vogue if any of them appeared in cameo roles in the film. i raise my hat to gisele bundchen and valentino who made their thespian appearance despite this threat. gisele of course is gisele; she has no need for wintour's endorsements anymore, being the supermodel.

anna wintour in a rare picture sans her trademark chanel sunglasses

needless to say, many reviewers (who might have hopes in gaining the ice queen's nod) have trashed the book and the movie. it's only the laymen like us who love it. who love every thread of luxury-bleeding fabric portrayed in the movie, which we can ill afford!

my favourite character is of course, emily, the bitchy, sarcastic 1st assistant. what a fun role to play! but i would say the ugly duckling is more the fashion maven than she, after her much needed makeover.

a fun, gossipy movie that's sure to make you walk into the prada store this weekend.

paris fashion week

2006-09-29T00:52:00.000+08:00

just perused through the spring ready-to-wear from paris fashion week.

i must say i'm pretty disappointed in the offerings. nothing pretty ala spring. even marc jacobs didn't whet my appetite. the spring collections are usually my favourite. free, floaty and flirty, in all manner of girly colours. oh well. will wait for NY fashion week then.

pretty pretty dresses from some of the collections:

2006-09-28T12:33:00.000+08:00

Ad and I had an informal meeting with a group of our close friends who will be helping us with our wedding. Our wedding committee. Waaahh… I have a committee! Our treasured friends.. needless to say we ended up spending more time chatting and eating rather than brainstorming proper. But thanks to Ad’s zealousness in planning everything to its minute detail, I think handing over the remaining plans to WW and Ade will be ok. At least we won’t have to stress up before the big day, knowing everything is in capable, loving hands.

I’m so grateful for them. Mostly for their moral support and assurances. I haven’t experienced any bridal jitters yet. Nor have I suffered sleepless nights worrying whether everything will go according to plan. Actually, most of it is because Ad is wonderfully capable.. not to mention he is gifted with a very high stress threshold! Unlike yours truly.

Anyway…I think everyone is looking forward to a new project, if I can be so presumptuous to assume that! Thank God for such dependable friends.

Will be going to Petaling St. with Ad this Sat to buy stuff. Urgh… not really looking fwd to traipsing ard there. I’m glad I’m not going alone. And I seriously need to get material for my veil. My mom has stripped her wardrobe bare a couple of times, trying to find her own veil for me to use. ‘*sob* she can’t find it! Darn.. and I thought we could start a nice family tradition by passing down the veil. Oh well.

Cards and wedding programs are not printed yet. Hopefully will be ready in one weeks’ time. I’m getting help from the cell to write the names and do some girly thing to the envelopes / programs. Gee, really hope it’s ready in time.

Oh dear.. forgot about the extra ‘embellishments’ that I’m supposed to complete for one of my dresses. Bleh. Laziness consumes me.

wedding dresses

2006-09-05T12:07:00.000+08:00

i was checking out a few dresses before i made up my mind on the cut i wanted. boy.. did i have info overload! strange enough, lots of the dresses advertised in foreign bridal magazines looked really gaudy and overdone to me. i thought big, billowy skirts with the lace factory were out in 1880? haha. at least the ones i found thru the internet were much better. it's so difficult to surf and find the right site! there are LOADS of links and whatnot that just confused the jitters INTO me! in the end i gave up and just went straight for a couple of well known designers' sites. hello vera wang...

sadly tho, i didn't feel like any of her designs (tho they're pretty amazing) would suit my petite frame. sigh... sucks not to be a giraffe. these were some of the ones i liked:

food tasting

2006-09-04T00:54:00.000+08:00

so we just had another excuse to pig out haha.

not surprisingly, the portions were extra large, the food passed our extra critical standards. however, i didn't quite warm up to the new 'wedding organiser' person at sheraton subang. she replaces our original one, who has quit in this ever demanding and competitive arena of wedding planning. this new girl, young and naive looking is so unbending and as straight as a ruler. she shld have been an accountant or something, not someone involved in marketing!

all the extra icing on the cake promised to us by the previous person seemed to have garnered raised eyebrows and dubious looks from this new one. she adamantly follows what's in her rule book and flexibility is a no-no to her. bleh... what a bore. at last the other person was fun and helpful, always assuring us that she'll do everything she can to fulfil our requirements.

and i don't think this new girl can take criticism well at all! hahaha.. like when we commented on the lack of fins in the sharks' fin soup! and when i asked her whether we could have the prawns peeled vs the rather unpopular unshelled ones. heh. never thought the reason was so that the dish would look more 'generous'! apparently, peeled prawns look smaller when served (therefore they may have to add in a few more to pad up the dish! - ooo guess this'll really stretch their already 'small' margins?)

one tip tho - if you find the requisite ice sculptures as ridiculous as i do, trade it in for an extra free night stay at the hotel! definitely beats walking out of the recepion after dinner to see your love-swans sitting there in a pool of water sans their heads!

E06 youth conference

2006-08-29T18:09:00.000+08:00

after mths and mths of preparation, training and practices, E06 is over!!! i can't believe it! i have withdrawal symptoms now, esp about what to do with my time on sundays! i reluctantly say that i miss all those gruelling hours of not really knowing what is the whole picture, and just simply trusting that God will show up during the week long conference. i can't really describe the conference. all i know is, those who attended, pastors alike, commented that they have never been to a conference like this. because it's so personal and focuses on each individual.

all delegates were broken into 3 streams; teens, college and young adults (YA). i was a facilitator for the YA workshops. boy, was it an emotional roller coaster! the workshop contents were painstakingly gone through with a fine tooth comb by pastor LC, and each facilitator had to 'look after' groups of 8 to 10 delegates. talk about personal service! we had to sort of 'minister' to them (for lack of a better word) via the workshops. we also had to teach certain parts of the workshops, and of course this didn't go down so well with many of us, cos most of these delegates were strangers to us.

i'm just thankful i had a bunch of 40 YA facilitators in the same boat. so we would moan and groan abt how nervous and scared we were, as the conference loomed closer. all of us are working adults, with hectic work / love / family lives outside of church. and to put in so many hours after work at church, going through training sessions after sessions is no walk in the park. many a time i sported a tired, blank mind as i sat there, dreaming of a proper dinner and my bed.

in hindsight, it's been SUCH a wonderful, tumultuous, awesome journey i can't describe it in words. after seeing so many of the delegates' lives impacted through the workshops and personal ministering, every single minute of sweat, tears and stress was worth it. many of us facilitators share the same feeling that if only one person was impacted, it would have been worthwhile. but many were. and no surprise that the ones most impacted were the facilitators and organisers themselves!

merely because we had almost a year to process all the contents and issues brought abt through the w/shops. the YA delegates only had 3 short days. many were brought to tears at some w/shops where some issues really touched them and made them see with different eyes.

the many testimonies the facilitators shared at every de-briefing session at night spoke so much of how god moves in people's lives. of how god REALLY loves each person, and honours each person's struggles and fights in life. each life is so precious and important. i'll think twice before i ever say i hate my life in moments when i'm being pessimistic and stressed. it cheapens my whole life. i'm ashamed of all the times i've said it so flippantly. just to express my boredom or restlessness at the moment.

i'm so glad for this conference. so honoured to be an integral part of it.i've learnt so much, stuff you can never learn out of books. the learning process wasn't easy at all. we were all stretched to extremes, as work suddenly got busier, nights ended later, proper meals were scarce, and helping out for a certain 'somebody's' wedding turned out to be such a demanding task.

most of all, the comradship between the facilitators now is pretty cool. i'm also quite amazed with some of the adults who were roped in to be YA facilitators as well, cos i know they were a bit terrified of the rambunctious, cynical YA's they might have to encounter as delegates. they consider us a different generation from them, so i don't blame them for being worried. but they are such a cool bunch, who really care abt the YA's and have a heart for us. i am quite inspired by them.

i dread thinking if there will be another conference like this, but then again, i think i would jump at the chance of being a facilitator again.

wedding prep

2006-08-28T12:32:00.000+08:00

first of all i can't believe our big day is just 3 mths away! all this while, last week included, i always thought (shows you how much i think) it was 6 mths till all systems go. good grief. imagine my shock, anxiety and panic when i asked ad why he was preparing all his lists etc so early, and he replied that we only have 3 more mths to prepare. argh!!! *smacks head*

so i have taken it upon myslf to go into panic mode. this is merely to spur me into action. alas. panic mode only lasted abt 3 days. HAHAHA. i am back to being my plaid, stoic self. i know it's becos at the back of my mind, i know ad (being the super organiser he is) has and will get everything nicely sorted out. i just have to affirm or veto his proposals. ooo i love him so much!

we will be having a food tasting cum meet the in-laws session next week at the hotel. it's quite fun actually... i feel quite excited at the prospect of finalising more stuff! yeah, got to make the most of every preparatory minute since a wedding is only for the one time :)

am i malnutritioned?

2006-08-18T13:00:00.000+08:00

i must have taken a detour from the food pyramid in the past few years. i am so lost it's hard to be found. the route i have taken day in and day out started out by me disregarding a few sign posts along the way. now, taking wrong turnings have become a habitual part of journeying through the maze of proteins, fat and carbs. note that i didn't mention fibre and vitamins. oh yes, and the small but important minerals.

i am in such dire needs to be fed properly. i am eating absolute rubbish everyday. i hardly think the measly, requisite scraps of shredded, day-old spinach in my wan tan mee and the sad, brown strips of taugeh in my laksa count for anything in my daily requirements of vegetables. sigh...

my immediate remedy was to eat more economy rice (yucks). i have never ever deigned to even walk near any economy rice (mixed rice) counter in any coffee shop cos the food looks so undignified - mostly with a dried crusty layer of starch filled sauce on top, or reeking with recycled oil. need i say more. but in my quest to ingest some vegetables in my daily diet, i've tried to add some of those shiny green stuff they call vege into my white styrofoam box. it's so gross. i don't understand why they have to beat up and drown the poor vege in so much oil. did i miss the headlines where they decreed that oil is free now?

bleh.. anyway i don't think that's helping me eat healthily at all. it's probably also contributing to my continued, fatigued state. i am one of those fortunate people who get to sleep the required 8 hours a night. i sometimes stretch my luck to 9 or 10 hours a night. and yet i still feel fatigued the next day! there's something wrong here i tell you.

i'm hardly stress-laden. i sleep well in quantity and quality. i am usually relaxed and happy when i reach home after a (hard??) days' work. so the only conclusion i have made is that i'm eating absolutely nothing that's good for me. i thought fried chicken skin was very nutritious. oh well. better not give so much money to kfc now. but it's so convenient.. pop into the shell petrol station, pump in some fuel, drive past the drive-thru window and there you have eat... dinner for two. yum. ok, got to stop all this soon. how can one resist this:

fine..i shall go to jusco tomorrow evening and buy a weeks' supply of salmon. that will be my lunch for a week. i'll have enough omega 3 and good fatty acids to last me till my next fast food binge. doesn't look too bad, this healthy thing:

anyone know any caterers in the damansara region? i so need one now....i think it's ALL about the presentation. and the fact that you don't have to prepare and wash up!

2006-08-10T16:48:00.000+08:00

i have the most wonderful friends...

i just recently made the acquaintance of one through the E06 conference being organised by my church. i never thought i would be able to click with someone like her. on the surface it looked like that. but she's just utterly lovely. she's motherly, but with such a protective naivete about her. and it's just such fun exaggerating everything to her just to watch her expression. shocking her is my cheap entertainment of the day.

i admire people who are just soft at heart and so willing to go the extra mile for you, regardless of whether you deserve it or not. i don't think i've reached that level of maturity and self sacrifice. to be sure, it also puts you at risk of being taken advantage of, and served with ingratitude. but to actually laugh at the face of cynicism and take a bold step towards graciousness is to be admired and accorded the accolade of courage it deserves.

i hope these wonderful people rub off on me!

i'm still a chicken and a cynic at heart.

long, boring speeches and meetings

2006-08-07T12:49:00.001+08:00

i hate it when someone says a meeting is scheduled to end at 3pm and by 3.45pm they are still going on and on about the same mute point. enough already! don't they know that after 20 minutes they've already lost most of everyone's concentration and attention? by that time i'm probably noticing that you need to get your roots done, or else give up dyeing your hair. or that the tight, stretchy top you're wearing really does nothing for you. yes, i'm turning into a bitch right about then. but that's because you misled me by promising to end the meeting in 10 minutes but you know you won't.

i wonder why people do that. do they enjoy hearing themselves? or are they afraid of the anti-climax which inadvertently sets in once they bring a halt to their tirade. sometimes i wonder if they're afraid of not having an (obligated) audience who have no choice but to hear them out, as if it's their only chance of being heard. maybe it makes them feel more important.

but really, i have no patience at all with people like that. if they have salient points to make, i'm more than ready to listen. but to go on for 2 hours on a single point. either they're lonely people who rarely have the chance to be heard or they think we're stupid. that we cannot digest that single point in the 10 minutes it would normally take for a reasonably intelligent specimen to understand. sigh...

and the rest of the audience... they still listen rapturously although they must be bored out of their minds. if it's someone 'important' who's speaking, they'll pretend to nod in understanding and attempt to radiate a semblence of intelligence while thinking what's for lunch. i really can't be bothered. i'm one of those rude people who will purposely let my feelings show by presenting the most bored look i can muster. i let my eyes glaze over. if i'm being really mean, i take out my handy mobile to play bubbles. but i try not to let it show cos i do understand it's really unnerving to have someone do that when you're speaking up there. but please, give us a break. time your speeches. we are busy people.

2006-08-02T16:29:00.000+08:00

i can't stand it when a colleague has a complaint about the work of another and he or she doesn't address the issue but enjoys bitching about it to all the staff. what's the point actually? to earn points through your martyrdom? like you've never made a mistake in your life? forgive me, but i thought the most important thing would be to solve the bloody problem and bring it to the attention of said staff's manager so action can be taken to prevent future mistakes.

but nooOOOooo.... they have to go on and on and on and on about it. declaring to the whole factory floor that the 'people upstairs' (like there's a stigma attached to it now - apparently we are quite stupid). there's this manager in my company whose attitude i abhor. i'd rather listen to roof shattering heavy metal music then her voice. it grates on me. like someone tying me up and forcing me to listen to the screech of running a fork across a blackboard. i'd rather eat live worms.

i think her sole joy in her career is to wait patiently while one of the members of the 'upstairs club' (i think she resents the fact that we have cushy sit-down jobs in and air-conditioned room while she doesn't) makes a mistake or forgets something. then she pounces. and the whole company (including the surrounding housing estate) can hear her screeching about our stupidity (of course not through obvious accusations - she's too sly for that). it's always masked under a very martyred expressions, and it's carefully worded to avoid accusing that person directly. hence the accusation at the whole 'club'. but a bird with half a brain knows what she's on about. good grief. just have a decent conversation about it, how the bloody difficult is that???!! i am so put off by her that i can't stay at my desk while listening to her rant and rant at the top of her voice. to no one in particular, but making sure everyone knows that she has to do double work and stay back late to correct this mistake.

some people really have to get a life. or seek other modes of padding their self-worth and self-image.

*picture courtesy of edward munch

2006-07-26T13:04:00.001+08:00

i woke up today to the rude realisation that i have terrible hair. that's because i forgot to pack my serum with me when i went back to stay with my parents. it looks like a flock of birds which recently went treasure hunting in it. sigh... it's quite dreadful. in moments like these, i have the impulsive urge to take the day off and run helter skelter to the salon to get my hair straightened. urgh.. but i am so trying to resist this, because i know in the next couple of days, it'll look just fine and i'll be regretting my rm300 impulse. sigh.. the perils of being a girl. i will wait till next month.

_____________________________________________

i just bought loads of clothes at the sales. yet again. i always tell myself it's the last for the month, but that's like telling a crying baby he'll cry himself hoarse. it makes no difference. i think maybe i should sequester myself at home for the next month, be as anti-social as possible. the trouble is there is no where to go in malaysia except shopping malls. spending money is the requisite cure to boredom. for me at least. i live in a dangerous place dotted with malls all around me. a simple trip for coffee with friends renders me in the danger zone.

my darling just went off to the states for work. i am so excited for him to experience everything different there. but i think i am more excited about the list of things i asked him to buy. *fingers crossed* somehow i don't think he'll be very successful given his non-penchant for shopping. he is quite the dismal shopper i must say. well, i'll just be happy for him to come back. i can't believe i still miss him. get a grip girl. you've been going out with him for almost 2 years. isn't it about time to act all apathetic and old-married-couple-like.

he's been calling me like he owns digi or something. it's quite cute the fact that he doesn't really realise it is quite expensive to call me with regards to something like 'i had a really nice juicy steak for dinner today - it was so big i couldn't finish it'. how about 'victoria's secret on sale - all underwear $2.99'. arghhh!!! he's so adorable... esp when one of the 1st things he asks me when he arrives in LAX is "dear.. how are you doing? is everything ok". you would think i've never been alone before.

i'm glad i'm so busy. the days are flying past. only 6 more days to go till he's back. i can't believe it.. i sound like a love sick teenager! i think i ought to feel a little sheepish about this fact, but oddly enough i don't care. i'm not ashamed of the fact that i miss him so much i've been dreaming about him cooking maggi mee for me. just last night! and i don't need the alarm clock in the mornings now. i have this urge to wake up early cos i know there will be a few sms-es waiting for me in the morning. i'm pathetic.

but at least i received some validation from my brother last night. he said he would want to have a girlfriend like me. who would miss him so much if he were away. awww....

2006-07-16T14:25:00.000+08:00

i had such a nice, busy weekend. it started out with adrian not having to work saturdays anymore. what a blessing. hah.. i don't have to amuse myself by trotting to borders every saturday morning to browse while killing time. i love having coffee at starbucks there and browsing through home / bridal / girly magazines. not to mention the trove of books there. so cool.. i can actually read whole chapters before deciding whether it's worth buying.i think ad has managed to devour quite a number of books while guzzling his cuppa there. i still can't believe he can read so fast. and i did check. he didn't to the speed reading thingy where you only read a couple of lines from each chapter. and i thought i was a fast reader!

had quite a nice, though really hot afternoon helping out a cell member for her wedding deco. yes, yet another one. OJ cell will soon be OJ Wedding Deco Sdn Bhd. We will all be pros soon. it's kinda fun though..discovering that you do have some talent for tying the perfect bow! ooo and i also discovered that i can do a mean twist with some pliers and steel. but the boys get the fun job of spray painting. *pout*

dinner was a very long wait. my dad wanted marche (again.. i can't believe he hasn't grown out of this new thing yet). i was secretly thankful that the line was too long so we had dinner in TGIF. bleh... they need a new QC department or something. portions have shrunk dramatically, since i can actually finish my whole meal and still have room for dessert. and i can finish that too. and i can go home and want to snack on my ayamas black pepper sausage. says a lot huh. it tastes not very nice now too. most things are either too dry, too tasteless or too blah. my brother has to change his sprite 3 times cos they sent some weird water tasting thing with no gas. hey... give us some gas. we're on a mission to be unhealthy ok.

won't go there again anytime soon. i think the branch in 1 utama is more palatable. i wonder why the different branches have different standards. aren't they required to conform to a specified standard of quality in taste and servings?

don't let me get started on mcdonalds. the only branch that serves a decent beef foldover (and by this i mean i can actually see some beef peeking out) is the damansara one. the rest are dismal. are we out of cows? and i can't believe they cheat on their cheese too!!!! i am so put out. i love the cheeseburger because of the cheese. so i wasn't pleased when i saw that they only give you half a slice now. come on people, how much can you save?

other than food grouses, i had a pretty packed, (un)productive yet thoroughly enjoyable saturday. i love it that ad doesn't have to work saturdays now. woo hoo!

degeneration of feminity?

2006-07-12T09:03:00.000+08:00

what the hell is wrong with the female population when they think nothing of dabbling 'harmlessly' with another man (married or otherwise) when they are married. they justify it by saying there is no sexual contact. okay. maybe they won't mind so much if their husbands flirt or have a casual fling with another woman. sans sexual contact of course. no harm done eh? guess they haven't heard that emotional infidelity is just as damaging as sexual infidelity. maybe more?

i always wonder.. is it all in the name of womens' progress? did our earlier counterparts burn their bras for this? to give women the same right to everything. so they think just because a man has free reign to cheat, they can as well. i think they're missing the whole point. cheating is never right. period. regardless of who does it. yes, there are many justifications, the most cliche being 'my wife doesn't understand me', or 'we have grown apart'. it takes two hands to clap. but i don't think when you're at the pearly gates that will be considered a valid excuse.

doesn't anyone take 'for better or worse' seriously anymore?

i'm just a bit irritated because i heard a few colleagues joking about the 'secret' men they are seeing / going on holidays with, without their husbands knowledge. they justify it as being 'just friends' because they haven't had sex yet. look here, i'm not stupid and neither are you. and neither is your husband if he finds out. what the hell are they playing at anyway? and the ones who aren't doing it are encouraging the ones who are! they giggle secretly when sms-es punctuate the steady screech of the fax machine. they proudly show off the messages, the hornier the better. they wave it around for others to read, and the others giggle too. and offer generous advice on the reply.

i can't believe they are abetting this. and i thought they were nice, simple people! shows how much i know. a case of deperate housewives if ever there was one. sans the manolos and well-manicured lawns. gets my blood boiling when it hits too close to home.

then there are those who kiss goodbye to whatever (little?) intelligence they have and act like a total bimbo because they assume men like it. it's oh so cute to be silly, defenseless me. then my hero can charge up in his black BMW (no protons mind you) and save me from my mediocre life and shopping only during MNG sales. now i can browse the racks during non sale periods and actually buy something! and i don't have to pay for it! ooo... what's a little sacrifice of the brain when i have another new outfit to parade in? ooo and i may be able to graduate to armani and then to prada soon. but not too soon otherwise my motives will be too obvious. don't want him getting a little suspicious. so bring on the charm and play little housewife, always waiting for him to come home from work and then listening attentively to him while he rattles on about how work sucks and how it's such a rat race out there.

it's all a little game to them. and i know these people! it's like viewing a real life drama. a bit amusing, sometimes ludicrous.

my money, mykad

2006-07-11T09:16:00.000+08:00

i am so amused by how our powers that be make decisions. the latest is to fine us for not carrying our mykads. i can't believe the maximum fine of rm 20k is grossly more than what a kidnapper would be fined or jailed for wrongfully confining someone! geez! and if i were stupid enough to drink and drive, i would be fined only 10% of the amount of not carrying my mykad. makes you wonder whether they were drunk when they came out with this proposal. what's up guys??

i'm so proud of malaysians for creating a furore over this. tell 'em guys.

oh, and not to mention the fact that this proposal makes it even easier for corrupt policemen to go laughing all the way to the bank. who wants to pay a fine of 20k when rm50 under the table can settle it? aren't we just cutting off our noses to spite our face? you want to do away with corrupt practices, yet you bring about policies that just beg to bite you in the ass. i can bet you more people will start bribing their way out of this one.

congrats jason & grace

2006-07-09T13:15:00.000+08:00

what a lovely wedding.. such a simple, homemade affair but done with many loving hands. irregardless of some disorganisation and some scary commands by certain quarters (not the bride and groom who were thoroughly sweet to us helpers), it was a good day. i think jason nearly cried when he saw grace walk down the aisle. oooo... but i'm just speculating ;)

guys, may you have a great adventure ahead. god bless.

pre-wedding, last minute practice by the musicians (baby you look so cool with a guitar - *swoon*):

OJ Deco Sdn Bhd:
bride & groom send off. it's so cute:

what do you think?

2006-06-30T12:43:00.000+08:00

i have always believed that dr.M's decisions (some really bonkers) were not straightforward; there was always a bigger goal he was trying to achieve. but because he hardly (if ever) shared his true intentions with the nation, many thought his policies and decisions were self-seeking or ludicrous. i don't deny there might be a few which were self-seeking, but at least he had the decency to have the nation's best interest at heart behind it all.

but this article ariticulates the whole shenanigans behind the recent mud-slinging between our higher ups quite well. i hope it's true for Dr.M's sake, which it probably is. but i wish it weren't cos it says a lot about who we're voting to represent us. aren't we the stupid ones. and from 'rumors' you hear all over, what IS so special about khairy that he can influence badawi to such an extent. !!!!!????!!!

> Not Worth The Paper It Is Written On
>
> By Raja Petra Kamarudin
>
> They say in legal circles that a verbal agreement is not worth the
> paper it is written on. Islam says, if a man breaks his word up to
> three times, then do not take him as a friend or comrade. Islamic
> scholar or ulamak Abdullah Ahmad Badawi, also currently Prime
> Minister of Malaysia, gave his word and he broke it more than three
> times. Abdullah, therefore, cannot be taken as a friend either in the
> western or Islamic perspective.
>
> And who did Abdullah give his word to? He gave it to previous Prime
> Minister Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad -- and of course to all Malaysians
> in his 2004 Election Manifesto, which he has also broken. And what
> did he promise Dr Mahathir? Many things, amongst which are that the
> Scenic or `Crooked' Bridge would not be abandoned, the double
> tracking railway line would be pursued, and the national car, Proton,
> would be supported -- just to mention but three.
>
> After Dr Mahathir announced his resignation to a shocked Umno General
> Assembly in mid-2002, Abdullah and Dr Mahathir spent 15 months in
> countless conferences to discuss what the former should and would do
> when he finally takes over as Prime Minister in November 2003. Dr
> Mahathir went into great detail and explained at length why he did
> what he did in his 22 years as Malaysia's Prime Minister. Dr Mahathir
> had a reason for his many perceived lunatic moves. Even Abdullah, who
> was his deputy soon after Anwar Ibrahim's exit in September 1998,
> could not understand everything that Dr Mahathir did. Now he does.
>
> Abdullah sat there taking pages after pages of notes as Dr Mahathir
> gave him a 15-month crash course in Mahanomics (synonymous with
> Reaganomics). By the end of the 15-month training and orientation
> programme, Abdullah understood fully what was in the head of that
> strange animal called Mahathir. More importantly, Abdullah now saw
> the logic in Dr Mahathir's every move and agreed that, though
> sometimes somewhat devious, many of these moves were actually quite
> necessary in the pursuit of the bigger objective.
>
> Many of Dr Mahathir's moves would certainly appear loony to the
> uninitiated. They would appear even stranger when viewed in the
> backdrop of what was perceived as a failed plan. Dr Mahathir was a
> blunderer and the many disasters he left as a legacy to Abdullah in
> November 2003 laid testimony to this. But Abdullah knew they were no
> disasters. He did not know earlier of course. But 15 months of
> sitting in front of Dr Mahathir and taking notes as the Prime
> Minister imparted his innermost thoughts left Abdullah with no doubts
> that this old man knew what he was up to and these moves could only
> be labelled as brilliant.
>
> Take the Scenic or `Crooked' Bridge as one example. No one would
> disagree if we were to say that this is the most stupid idea yet to
> come out of Dr Mahathir's mind. Why build half a bridge? Why build
> such a silly looking bridge that would wind its way around because it
> had to join the Causeway halfway across the Straits of Johor or
> Tebrau Straits?
>
> If they built a full bridge, then the bridge could be built straight,
> lower and shorter at maybe almost the same cost as half a bridge. But
> now they are building half a bridge, so it has to be crooked and
> higher -- and the cost for half a bridge is not half the cost of a
> full, straight bridge. But they can't build a straight or full bridge
> because Singapore will not allow their half of the Causeway to be
> demolished and they are not interested in building the other half of
>
> the bridge on their side or within their territorial waters.
>
> Singapore could of course agree to join Malaysia in this bridge
> project and agree to the Causeway being demolished and a full,
> straight bridge be built to replace the Causeway. But Singapore
> wanted the bridge to be packaged with a lot of other goodies, all in
> Singapore's favour. These goodies would be like throwing in the
> supply of sand, allowing Singapore Air Force planes more flights over
> Malaysian air space, plus a re-look at the water agreement.
>
> Dr Mahathir did not agree to this. He would not package the bridge
> with all these other issues and he wanted each issue to be an issue
> by itself and to be negotiated separately and on its own merits. Dr
> Mahathir was no fool. He knew if he rejected Singapore's demand for a
> packaged deal, then Singapore would not agree to the bridge. Malaysia
> could go on with the bridge if it wanted, but it can only build a
> bridge on Malaysia's side, not on Singapore's side. Therefore it
> would have to be a silly-looking half-bridge that would need to be
> highly elevated and winding.
>
> That was exactly what Dr Mahathir wanted. He wanted Singapore to
> reject the full, straight bridge idea and stipulate that Malaysia can
> only build half a bridge if it still insisted on proceeding with the
> plan. Dr Mahathir did not want a full bridge. He wanted a half-
> bridge. A full bridge would mean it would have to be straight and
> therefore low. A half-bridge would force the bridge to curve and
> therefore it would have to be built highly elevated.
>
> What Dr Mahathir really wanted is the space beneath the bridge which
> a full bridge would not offer while a half-bridge would. And why did
> he want this space? He wanted it because he wanted large container
> ships and oil tankers to be able to sail under the bridge.
>
> The Straits of Melaka is one of the busiest sea lanes in the world.
> But ships plying the Straits cannot reach Johor Port unless they sail
> around Singapore. So they would rather stop at the Port of Singapore
> instead of coming to Johor. Even ships carrying goods bound for
> Malaysia would rather stop at Singapore for transhipment to Malaysia
> rather than sail to Malaysia. Once there is a highly elevated bridge,
> then the ships can bypass Singapore and come straight to Malaysia.
>
> In short, a highly elevated `crooked' bridge would boost the
> viability of Johor Port and pose a serious threat to the Port of
> Singapore. To be more dramatic, the bridge could actually kill the
> Port of Singapore and make Johor Port the new centre for imports to
> and exports from Malaysia -- plus for those Indonesian importers and
> exporters as well who currently would rather use Singapore than sail
> the extra distance around Singapore to come to Johor.
>
> That was what Dr Mahathir really wanted. He was not actually
> interested in the bridge. He was more interested in Malaysia
> overtaking Singapore in the port business. And the crooked, high,
> half-bridge would be able to achieve this. A straight, low, full
> bridge would not. Dr Mahathir very cleverly manoeuvred so that
> Singapore would disagree with the full bridge and would instead ask
> Malaysia to proceed with half a bridge. Once they said that, Dr
> Mahathir got them exactly where he wanted them. The half-bridge is
> Singapore's idea, not Dr Mahathir's, so Singapore cannot now turn
> around and say that they had been tricked and the bridge was merely a
> Red Herring and that the real motive was to outdo the Port of
> Singapore.
>
> Somehow, along the way, Malaysia's Foreign Minister packaged the
> supply of sand and more SAF flights over Malaysian air space in the
> bridge deal. Dr Mahathir never agreed to this. But Abdullah did for
> reasons known only to himself and his son-in-law, Khairy Jamaluddin.
> The sand would of course come from Johor and those individuals who
> will be awarded the contract to supply sand to Singapore are family
> members of those involved in the decision-making process at the very
> top echelons of power -- those walking in the corridors of power. The
> supply of sand is not a government effort but a private arrangement.
> What is even more perturbing to Dr Mahathir is that Singapore did not
>
> demand that the supply of sand be included in the deal. This idea
> came from Malaysia. It was Malaysia that proposed it, not Singapore
> that demanded it.
>
> When the Johor Menteri Besar found out about the supply of sand
> arrangement he was outraged. Dr Mahathir had banned the export of
> sand back in 1997 and Johor was quite happy with this as the sand was
> coming from Johor and it is the politicians and their cronies who are
> making hundreds of millions out of it. For the first time in his life
> this very polished man who always has a sweet smile for anyone he
> encounters lost his cool. He never raises his voice, especially to
> the Prime Minister. But that day he did and he told the Prime
> Minister that Umno Johor will strongly oppose any Johor sand being
> sold to Singapore. Even the palace got into the act and there was a
> danger of another Constitutional Crisis erupting.
>
> In short, there was a mutiny and Johor was in revolt. A crisis never
> before seen in Malaysian history was about to explode. This was a
> state-federal conflict in the making. Abdullah had blundered big
> time. He had agreed that the bridge would include the supply of sand
> to Singapore. Now Johor, the source of the sand, put its foot down
> and threatened to resist at whatever cost, and Johor can be as
> independent as Kelantan if it so wishes. They would also reveal the
> names of all those who stand to benefit from this supply of sand;
> family members of those at the very top of the Abdullah
> administration. If you think the Mahathir-Anwar crisis was exciting,
> the supply of sand to Singapore would dwarf this by far.
>
> Two days later, Abdullah announced that the bridge project would be
> aborted, after starting work on it (and incurring a liability of
> RM100 million). Three weeks before that, Parliament had reiterated
> the bridge project would go on and the Minister of Works himself
> assured Parliament that this would be so. But now it was off. They
> would not be proceeding with the bridge. They could not proceed with
> it. To proceed with it would mean they have to supply sand to
> Singapore. And this would create a massive crisis between the federal
> government and the Johor state government. The only way out of the
> supply of sand commitment would be to abort the bridge project. No
> bridge, no sand, and no federal government-Johor state government
> crisis, plain and simple.
>
> But it is out of the frying pan, into the fire. Without the bridge,
> there would be no way ships could sail to Johor Port through the
> Straits and the Port of Singapore would continue to dominate this
> region. Dr Mahathir's plan to build up Johor Port and challenge
> Singapore's dominance was thwarted. And it was thwarted by no other
> than his successor who had promised him that the bridge would go on.
> And it was thwarted because some greedy people in the decision-making
> team had tried to get rich quick through selling sand to Singapore by
> packaging the sand supply deal in the bridge proposal.
>
> Dr Mahathir was hopping mad. Abdullah had made a big booboo, and to
> get out of this booboo he cancelled the bridge project. Abdullah was
> trying to save his arse. But in doing so he sacrificed Malaysia.
> Johor Port would now have to remain as pathetic as it has always
> been. And the Port of Singapore would remain the big wheel of this
> region. Flushed down the toilet is Dr Mahathir's plan for overtaking
> Singapore. And, to make it worse, Abdullah had promised Dr Mahathir
> the bridge would go on. And he understood fully well why it must. And
> he realised that the bridge was for the good of Malaysia's commerce.
> But saving his arse was his first priority. Saving Johor Port has to
> come second.
>
> That is the story of the `Crooked' Bridge. There are many other
> stories such as about the double tracking railway line, the national
> car, and more. Suffice to say, the double tracking railway line had
> the same objective as the `Crooked' Bridge; in that Malaysia's
> commerce would improve and Singapore's dominance in the region would
> be given a serious challenge. But Abdullah aborted this as well.
>
> The double tracking railway line was actually the first move. Once
>
> the double tracking was done, then the high speed train was supposed
> to follow. Imagine the day when one could live in a cheaper town like
> Ipoh where property prices are half those in the big city, yet work
> in Kuala Lumpur -- and the time it takes to get to work from Ipoh
> would be faster than driving from Subang Jaya to Kuala Lumpur today.
> The small towns would boom and development would be spread out
> throughout the country instead of concentrated in a few key areas
> like it is today. But that too now remains just a dream.
>
> The MV Agusta matter is another issue. Dr Mahathir was going to use
> MV Agusta to develop a peoples' car (volks wagen) that could be
> marketed for as low as RM10,000, or less. MV Agusta had the
> technology to do this and the cost to buy MV Agusta, in spite of it
> debts, was still lower than embarking on this project doing your own
> R&D from scratch. R&D costs billions of Ringgit and to develop a car
> from scratch would not only cost more but would be time consuming as
> well. Even if you are prepared to pay the higher cost, the time would
> take too long. MV Agusta was a short cut and at a cheaper price on
> top of that.
>
> But MV Agusta was sold off for RM4 and Dr Mahathir's RM10,000
> peoples' car went down the toilet, just like all the others. In fact,
> the sale of MV Agusta itself raises other questions. How did they
> decide who to sell it to and do those in the decision-making process
> have an interest in the company that bought MV Agusta? (Which raises
> the issue of conflict of interest.) Dr Mahathir knows the real story,
> as he does about who those sand suppliers are, but he is not
> revealing all, at least not just yet.
>
> It is not that Abdullah is ignorant about all this. He knows the
> agenda behind the `Crooked' Bridge, double tracking railway line, MV
> Agusta, and much more. He knows that all these are mere catalysts for
> bigger things. And he agreed that these are necessary for the future
> of the country. Yet he dismantled them one by one just to make it
> appear like Dr Mahathir is stupid and that all his ideas are stupid.
> It is all about politics and of trying to undermine Dr Mahathir. And
> what better way to do this than to dismantle what Dr Mahathir started
> and give the impression that the previous Prime Minister was a nut
> case. So the country suffers. So what? That is the small picture. The
> big picture is: Dr Mahathir is embarrassed.
>
> The Free Trade Agreement (FTA) is another thing that Dr Mahathir was
> and still is against. All those years he was prime minister he
> resisted the FTA. Then, late last year, Abdullah secretly signed the
> FTA with Japan whereby Japanese automobiles would have free access to
> the Malaysian market while Malaysian vegetables would have free
> access to the Japanese market. Malaysian vegetables? What vegetables
> do we have that we can export to Japan? We do not even grow enough
> for our own consumption and almost everything we eat needs to be
> supplemented with imports. Anyway, do the Japanese eat our
> vegetables? Abdullah might as well have signed an FTA with Canada
> whereby we export ice cubes to the Eskimos.
>
> The FTA Abdullah signed with Japan was so confidential that even the
> Cabinet did not know about it until Abdullah informed its members
> later, after it had been signed. The Cabinet members were shocked,
> but by then it was too late to do anything about it. And how is
> Proton going to survive once Japanese cars get free access to the
> Malaysian market when even Europe and the United States can't compete
> with them?
>
> Proton is a dead man walking. Its days are numbered and it will be
> just a matter of time when the national car folds. As the Malays
> would say: siap kain kapan (prepare the funeral shroud).
>
> Now the United States also wants the FTA with Malaysia signed and the
> US-Malaysia FTA would open all government contracts and procurement
> to US companies. That is the end of the New Economic Policy. The days
> of the Bumiputera businessmen are numbered. Malays will have to
> revert to becoming clerks and drivers again.
>
> Dr Mahathir is beginning to doubt whether Abdullah knows what he is
> doing. As far as Dr Mahathir is concerned, whatever he did, he did
>
> with the interest of the nation at heart. But Abdullah's moves, the
> way Dr Mahathir sees it, are moves of a traitor who does not care
> about the country's interest. Dr Mahathir is quite prepared to allow
> Abdullah to run this country the way he, as Prime Minister, sees fit.
> But Dr Mahathir will not remain silent and allow this state of
> affairs to continue if, as he put it, Malaysia's sovereignty is
> jeopardised. Dr Mahathir would rather take on Abdullah than allow the
> man to destroy this country. Not just Dr Mahathir, but many Umno
> veterans as well believe that power in the hands of Abdullah is like
> giving a flower to a monkey. Monkeys do not appreciate the beauty of
> flowers.

anger management

2006-06-28T13:16:00.000+08:00

i never realised god took anger so seriously. haha

i've read those verses about anger and patience and self control, but it didn't sink in for long.

while i was doing my 'homework' for our recent marriage counselling session, i skipped all the parts where you had to read the bible and give your comments etc. it's just me doing last minute work during lunch at work, and not bringing my bible with me. but about half an hour before we were to go for the session, Ad gave me this really serious look and said 'i wish you took the time to read the verses and did those parts. they're really good'. hhmmm... shame on me.

so in the 30 quiet minutes (with the tv off) before we set off, i went through all the verses in our topic of managing conflict and anger etc. i didn't really expect anything. but surprisingly, i was really touched by those verses. some of which i've read many times. it really spoke to me.

it brought back flashes of all those times i've been rash and lost my temper and put my foot (actually the whole leg) in my mouth. saying sorry afterwards is so shallow and trivial. too blithe. like applying a bright pokemon kiddy plaster on a gunshot wound. or digging out a zit and expecting a flawless complexion the next day. imagine saying "i hate you" and moments later "i'm sorry i didn't mean it". it's trivialising the whole thing even when you apologize.

but when i read the bible verses listed in my book, something came over me. i realized there is honor and glory in overlooking an offense. it's really hard to do, especially when we are so disillusioned about all the daily grievances and offenses we encounter, some so frequent and common it's become the norm; a way of life. i am after all, living in KL, notoriously named one of the rudest cities in a recent survey (that had hackles rising - anyway i agree with the survey). it's second nature to lose your temper when driving.

in this 'survival of the fittest' cycle we're sucked in, to show grace and mercy is to be taken advantage of. if you don't stand up for yourself, you get stepped on all over. in this competitive environment we are living in, we always need to prove a point, to prove we're right, to defend ourselves. sometimes i don't even know why i want to. it's so tiring. it's normal to want retribution for a wrong done to you, to settle a score. then i read this:

"Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay", sys the Lord" - Rom 12:19

that made me feel protected and validated. there's someone watching over me. it's so much easier to let go then.

i never really believed all this i think. never really realised that there is honor in grace, and there is strength and wisdom in patience. now i'll just have to try it and see.

"A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense" - Prov 19:11

"Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city" - Prov 16:32

"In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold" - Eph 4:26,27

if you really think about these, really digest it, it's so hopeful. that's the only word i can think of.

________________________________

"Apply your heart to instruction and your ears to words of knowledge" - Prov 23:12

This is another one i liked. so much easier to eat the humble pie and take constructive criticism when the directive comes from god.

witness protection program

2006-06-26T09:04:00.000+08:00

oooo...could it be? our government is actually stirred to suggest such a logical, commonly used practise to protect whistle blowers of corrupt practises? oooo.. looks like we are progressing after all. **phew. oh but get this, they need to get 'views' from others first. okaaay. they're always getting 'views' before implementing anything simple, logical and workable. but never when they want to build another school, hospital or praying facility along a mad, forever congested main road with no parking whatsoever so that all the patrons of said institutions have to block the already congested main road just to annoy other drivers like me who just want to get home after a long, horrible day at work.

don't they know we're all bitching about this? i guess not. they go home at 4. with drivers.

i didn't realise the ACA could only take action when letters and what not are signed by the complainant. who are they kidding? imagine a lawyer reporting that a judge is corrupt and taking bribes yadda yadda yadda. you think if he proudly signed his name on that letter he's still going to be able to come to work the next day? and do what? continue losing his cases? that's nice. teach him a bit of humility eh? you and i know he's going to be blacklisted before he sticks a stamp on that letter.

how bout the MD who's trying to get his company listed? if he's gonna complain that he's been asked to pay some 'commission' to speed up his approval for listing, you think he's ever gonna see his company listed on the stock exchange? hah. but i bet he won't be surprised if the tax department drops by for a friendly audit though.

we've had the DOE swarming all over the factory in the past few weeks. a disgruntled employee probably made a complaint to them. so they do their job and come to check us out. they don't find anything wrong, but just to show their bosses they're doing something, they write us up for not disposing of soiled cotton rags (used to clean up spilt paint or whatever) properly. so they 'suggest' we pay a 'licensed' company to sell us these cotton rags which we can legitimately soil, then pay them to wash and clean for us, then sell it back to us to soil again. three guesses who these legitimate, 'licensed' companies belong to. you say anything, they'll be all over the place summoning you for something inane again. and waste all of our 10 hours at work filing nonsensical paperwork for them. more likely creating more recycled paper for them.

are we living in a big conspiracy or what?

sunday nights

2006-06-26T08:47:00.000+08:00

sunday nights are so painful..it's the feeling you get before going to the dentist, knowing you are subjecting yourself to pain but even worse, knowing you have no choice but to brave it. i hate sunday nights. it is so depressing. thinking of braving the mad selfish drivers on the road just to get yourself into the office where the pain continues. arghhh!!! i always wish i were a housewife on sundays. with no kids yet. otherwise i'd probably have to brave the mad selfish drivers to get the kiddies to school.

sigh.. you can tell i'm not an optimist. doom and gloom clouds me the moment the sun goes down. like how i feel the day after christmas. all the letting loose and not sneaking glances at my watch is over. the moment the sun goes down, i have to prepare mentally for the next day. the worst is setting the alarm for 7 am. after 2 blissful days of not bothering whether you wake up early or late. except on sundays of course when there's church. but at least getting up at 9am is so much friendlier than 7. and i have this horrid, annoying habit of waking up 10 minutes before my alarm rings every morning. like my brain has always been on-call for work. what is wrong with you, brain? don't you want that extra 10 minutes? my legs sure do! but when the weekend rolls by, the brain automatically knows no such thing.

i prefer a deep, comatose state when i sleep. no dreams (i hate those), no enlightening moments, no great ideas. no inkling at all that the alarm is going to ring. is that too much to ask?

i hate mondays. i am always a grumpy old bat on mondays.

2006-06-23T17:46:00.000+08:00

BTS, STB... it's about time!

obviously home owners would prefer the now 'approved in theory' concept of Build Then Sell. yeah but before we jump for joy and relook at the property pages, keep in mind that this is malaysia after all. it'll probably take another decade before this 'theory' is put into practice.

i don't understand how come consumers hardly have any rights here. of course, you do... but only if you have a damn good lawyer behind you, and loads of spare cash to throw into the judiciary/legal system to you actually get a semblance of what is deemed your 'rights'. not to mention lots and lots of free time and perseverence before the whole system wears you down. especially where property is concerned.

imagine paying for something you don't even know will turn out right. i know of a few people who are saddled with a home loan for the next 20 years when their 'home' has been an abandoned project for a few years already. and would most probably continue to be. i mean... DUH. where is the justice. they can't do anything. the banks need to be paid back. who cares if they're forking out cash for a piece of useless paper? not unless the person is a son or daughter or niece of some high-up-there official is there a glimmer of hope.

so home buyers... just make sure when you buy a piece of property, that your neighbour is someone with clout. just for the preservation of your peace of mind haha...

re work

2006-06-23T10:47:00.001+08:00

i have never understood why people go for company trips. call me anti-social and elitist. but i mean, you see them for 10, sometimes 12 hours every single day! to go on holiday with the same bunch? unless you really click. urgh... to me, it's just extending my fake, always politically correct self to my w'ends as well. thanks, but no thanks.

i work with a bunch of really good hearted people (most of them anyway), and i can deal with the shallow conversations we have, bitching about the same things bla bla bla. but to actually click with them on the same level? hhmm.. still wishful thinking. it's not just the fact that i can't spew out a few cantonese or hokkien words when i speak to them. the difference goes much deeper. there are too many differences; in culture, upbringing, exposure... i shock them too much. they are such simple, black-and white people.

i am this three headed alien in their midst. amusing, like a little freak show. even the politics here is different. it's more small minded and harmless. petty. silly. not even worth a nano second in the mad, rat race that is KL. and i've been in that mad rat race. it can be fun. if you're on the right side of the fence. adrenaline pumping. and the people are more interesting. fast, sharp, unforgiving. really good dress sense. keeps you on your toes. i still can't decide which i prefer.

retail therapy

2006-06-10T22:23:00.000+08:00

so i followed my baby to singapore cos he had a seminar of sorts to attend. and i attended to my neglected need for retail therapy. i have beequite good for 2 months already. oh.. ok.. make that 1. anyway i was really looking fwd to this cos i've been stuck in work drudgery for ages already without getting out of the klang valley. ok ok, maybe for two months. but i need a change of scenery every so often. just to recharge and give me more motivation to work.

anyway we were stuck in a horrible jam on friday night. cos i was late leaving work so we didn't leave at my darling's appointed time. and let me tell you, he is REALLY particular about time and punctuality. and most of the time, i fall into his 'classic WL syndrome' because he claims that every time i leave the house, i will go back in at least one more time to get something i have forgotten. all this due to my lack of planning and foresight. i am chagrined to realise that this syndrome has indeed been proven true.

we arrived at 1.30am i think. after braving through the masses that were overspilling unto the causeway. so tiring.
anyway i woke up ready to do as much damage to my bank account as i'd mentally allowed myself to. it was a pathetic 3-hour attempt. three measly hours!!! and i gave up due to a lack of stamina. i can't believe it. i am no more the shopaholic i thought i was. i was mentally drained from the kaleidoscope of stuff i breazed through and by lunch time, i already had an overdose of materialism. Ad should be so relieved. anyway i was quite pleased with my trophies. only wish i had more strength. i actually wanted to shop for household stuff (yeah so practical) like linens and things, but i never made it that far.

it was quite a fun trip. i must now plan a second one... thailand perhaps? it's much cheaper there anyway...

nice or not?

weddings galore

2006-06-05T08:36:00.000+08:00

i went for two wedding dinners in subang sheraton a week apart. it's a prelude to my own hahahaha. i now know the food really well. i can even skip the food tasting now.
the first was the wedding of a uni friend, and it was a sort of reunion of pals not seen since graduation. it's so sad
that we only meet up at weddings nowadays. well, better than nothing. as Ad said, the whole table was full of finance nerds. hhmpphh...

the hang out buddies in years past: adelyn, me, soo lin, ti jean, kat, andrew, li may, alina.

it was fun catching up with who's doing what and who's going where. actually, don't you think it's only fun when you yourself are actually doing something or going somewhere? otherwise yo're just on the outside looking in. reunions do that to people. sometimes i think you have to be really confident to show up, especially if it's been eons since the last reunion. everyone will be looking forward to see if you've changed or whatever.

my uni pals are a great bunch. i just wish i took more effort in spending more time with them in australia. friends you make in university are the epitome of acceptance. they've seen you grumpy, stressed, with bad hair days, full-of-zit days, seen you acting stupid and silly and making a fool of yourself. they've even seen you BEING full of yourself. and still... it's about living together and seeing each other almost everyday. sort of like family.. where all the quirks are out there, and they still talk to you! it's rare to find that in normal circumstances.

of course, it isn't the same trying to recapture what we had. life was so much simpler. it was just you and them in a foreign country. everyone fought their own battles of homesickness, insecurity, expectations and the need to want to really live it up. i mean, you're only there for two years!

now everyone is grown up, we've been pawns in the perenial game of commercialism for a few years already. we've had our idealism eroded bit by bit. our lives are now invaded by the necessary evils of work, car loans, housing loans etc. not to mention the joyful additions of significant others. losing touch with old friends becomes the norm of the 21st century urbanite now. how sad. i don't think we really understood that this would happen one day.
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claire's wedding to teik was quite a large affair. he's such a joker, always saying what everyone really thinks but doesn't dare say. it's quite refreshing being in the company of someone who just doesn't give a damn if he's offended your sensibilities with something honest. it doesn't even embarrass him to say such things. i do admire people with such an absence of guile.

2006-06-01T18:04:00.000+08:00

my electricity bill is 144.49. how did it go from 60 one day, to 90, then to 144? i don't think my boring existence has changed dramatically over the last 3 yrs i've been living out. hhmm... it must be the endless hours of watching CSI or desperate housewives non-stop. well, it's either that or spend 12 bucks on a drink as the pre-requisite to any entertainment with friends these days.

i thought it would be cheaper to eat at a mamak one night. cos Ad 17.50. 17.50 for mamak food! what is my world coming to nowadays??? goodbye nice holidays and casual eating outings. hello maggi mee. how i wish our earning power increased at least marginally with the cost of living. i'm not even asking for a parallel increase. a little crawl would be nice.

thank you malaysian government for having such faith in us to work even harder to bring in the scrap of bacon (that can now only feed 2, not 4 previously). you must have such confidence in us to not only increase petrol prices by a hunk, but to continue your generosity by approving hikes in electricity and water too. ooo.. not to mention rumours of interest rate hikes by year end. oh joy! let's all celebrate!

and get what this (probably already rich) smart aleck had to say:

"...the slowdown in consumption growth, particularly from the private sector was not surprising in view of the petrol price hike in February and rising borrowing costs. (DUH!!!)

Noting that the central bank had held back on a further hike in the overnight policy rate (OPR), he said at the current pace of growth, the economy could well absorb a few more increases.

okaaaay.... bring it on!

of course, they always have this caveat to any increase...will not affect lower income groups. erm... you think?

the dawn of understanding

2006-05-19T08:12:00.000+08:00

it's so true that you only appreciate your parents when you're an adult yourself. it applies to me i think. all through the turbulent pre-pubescent years (complete with braces, specs and frizzy hair) i've thought that my parents were some weird old fogeys who couldn't possibly understand why i needed a pair of levi's jeans. and only levi's.

anyway, as i was saying... i usually have a long drive to work every day, and it gives me time (actually i'd rather have a short drive) to think and fantasise and what not. so when i consciously (or subconsciously as the case may be) flit through my mental treasure chest, i do chance upon nuggets of gold. in this case, my parents.

i don't think they've really had an easy time with us hahaha. i mean, we didn't give them the usual drug/smoking/delinquent problems. we're kinda boring and unexciting in that way. the quintessential goody two shoes. hhmm.. but dig deeper and the each of us have our own quirks to deal with. but they have to deal with 3 really different DNA spinoffs. i wonder how i would deal with kids like us. we're such complex beings, each with different needs and different ways of expressing ourselves.

but i know i've underestimated them. it's true. parents know EVERYTHING. even when you're so careful to hide whatever feelings or insecurities you have from them, they're not stupid at all. surprise surprise! i quite admire their wisdom in some ways, and in others, i wish they were a bit more dense. but they catch on pretty quick.

i've had the opportunity (it's only recently that i was enlightened enough to call it that) to work with my dad for two years now. i think i know him and understand him so much more now. but it's also cos i've been praying so hard about things family related for the past 6 mths. it's like god opened up my eyes and i could see through his soul. it's a really strange (and guilty) feeling. the guilt comes from me. how could i have not seen it before? it's the age. and circumstances.

i admire him the way he manages everyone at the office. i can see that everyone fears him, but out of respect. i can't actually call it fear. it's more of they REALLY want to impress him. hahaha. imagine.. impressing my dad. i've never even bothered. and there are so many layers to everything he says and does. it's never what it seems. ok, he sounds a bit twisted here but he isn't actually. i think he's one of the most sincere and wise bosses i've come across. if i weren't related to him, i actually would like a boss like him. of course i can't actually say all this to him. i have to maintain that 'kids don't appreciate parents' persona u know. i do have a reputation to uphold :) and of course i don't really want to add to his already healthy ego.

he's really hard working and positive. in that he doesn't let hiccups get him down. it's kinda hard to work with someone like that cos i am naturally pessimistic. i am a high melancholy-phlegmatic in terms of character. so it's a totally different viewpoint and way of doing things. but after Ad ( my life seems to be classified into before and after Ad) i have learnt to accomodate myself more. Ad is the total opposite of me in character. he is exactly like my dad. poor me. i have two of those now. in a good way.

i actually can't wait for my brother to join the family circus. it'll be so much more fun. i think he is very melancholy-phlegmatic as well. ooo boy.. this should be interesting.

knowing my dad better as a person doesn't let me escape from also knowing his weaknesses. but i understand the reasons more now. and it helps. it helps me to forgive, appreciate and love everything about him. it's a deeper sense of knowing now. and it adds to the richness of my life.
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my mum... the one always in the background, cleaning up all the mess, the one always in the supporting role, never really accorded the credit she is due. it's tough being in the shadow of such a loud, vibrant character as my dad. but aren't fathers always the 'good time man'? it's mothers who discipline, get yelled at and are misunderstood. i dread my own turn.

there are so many facades to my mother. a woman has to play so many roles; wife, lover, mother, friend, cleaner-upper, nagger (how else do the kids turn out so well ahem ahem). but these things are hardly ever appreciated. it's their ROLE. they are SUPPOSED to do all these things. or are they?

my mom is a whole different ballgame altogether. moms and dads sacrifice differently, serve the family differently, support the children differently. one isn't more important than the other. it's ideal to have both. they each have added different facets to my life. and i am again, richer for it. i don't always think that way mind you. sometimes i just want to slam the door on them. but i thank god for the little nuggets of gold. he always brings a timely reminder to me. isn't that great? it's such grace for my human-ness that i find so awesome and touching. god has such perfect timing. it's always when i need re-assurance that he pops up and shoves not 1, but 3 in my face. but that's another story.

happy mothers' and fathers' day to the best (and sometimes dysfunctional) parents an urban girl could ask for.

in lurve

2006-05-18T18:10:00.000+08:00

i am sooooo in lurve... you can gag if you want, but it's true. i am having a headache now, but i'm close to bursting anyway haha. i sometimes have bouts of emotions when i feel like i want to shout it from the mountaintop but of course i won't. not least because there is no way i am physically fit enough to get atop one.

it's a warm contentment that steals over you when you least expect it. especially now since i am having a rather miserable headache. i need an outlet now!! hence writing here. just telling the person doesn't feel enough. it pales in comparison with the magnitude of what's happening between all my neurons and synapses and what not. yet it seems a crime to keep it to myself.

when i wake up and am coherent enough to make sense of my thoughts, i feel safe in the knowledge that i can share everything with Ad without him judging me and making me feel small. the things he quietly does for me, but would never point out cos he dosn't even realise it's an effort, it's just so natural for him. filling my tumbler with water before he leaves (i need water when i wake up in the middle of the night), always making sure my alarm clock ie. mobile phone is next to my bed, filling my tyres with air, making sure i have food, bringing me milk (otherwise i would NEVER drink milk) and washing the cup for me (i hate milk cups).

i sometimes feel selfish being the recipient of so much love and grace, as though i can never match it. i don't think i can! but then again, i don't think love is a tit for tat game anyway. you can't really measure it and decide to match it or fall short of it. that's the beauty of it. a lot of the times, it's undeserving. only when you make the effort to realise this, you feel the enormity of this responsibility. the responsibility not to hurt this person, who only has your best interests at heart. the responsibility to be unselfish in return. the responsibility to reciprocate such grace and beauty of spirit. i try...

how many times have i taken this for granted. not just love from loved ones, but especially god's love. how immense this is, when you think about it. we have been doing the gospel of john in church and cell for a while. i started out being a reluctant facilitator. yet, god still decided to reveal many things to me. how cool. one of the greatest is his unsurpassed love. it sounds so cliched cos you always hear about it. but it only takes effect when it hits you right there. not just the brain, but the whole works. it hits you deep in your spirit, and you can't help but be rudely (actually quite nicely thank you) awakened from your stupor. again, how cool.

woman turned ape

2006-05-17T11:52:00.000+08:00

i helped my sister at the pharmacy last week. basically cleaning up the documentation and setting up the accounts. i think she's a bit overwhelmed.

anyway.. i was engrossed in my bank statement at the back of the shop when i heard a commotion at the front. and i heard my sister's frustrated voice. so i ran to the front thinking someone was harrassing her. i was right. there stood this monstrous woman with the most nasty disposition i have sene in a while. when i asked her nicely what was the matter, she started screaming and ranting that our pharmacy is bodoh and other obcenities just because we wouldn't give her her money back for something she bought, but changed her mind about. she asked her son to buy a box of panadol. afte the shop assistant verified repeatedly that a box was what he wanted, and not a strip, she sold it to him. a few minutes after that, this excuse for womanhood stormed into the pharmacy asking for a refund as she just wanted s strip. she wanted to return the rest of the box, which she had already opened. so my sister informed her nicely (and i can vouch for that because she always talks nicely to her customers) that we only refund or exchange goods if they are defected or expired.

but nOOooOOOOo...she claims that we are stupid because ALL shops in malaysia entertain returns and refunds if you change your mind. Ohhh i seee.. i guess i've been living in a different malaysia to her. you'll be lucky if you can return a shirt with a hole which you have to prove was there when you bought it! so i actually asked her to walk over to watsons opposite, buy a box of panadol, change her mind and proceed to return it with a full refund. since she claimed that all shops here entertained such requests. but of course she didn't take up my challenge. someone with a pea brain knows it will never happen. duh. this is malaysia...where customers rule supreme. we are merely following the trend. cos we basically don't trust customers here. (hey, most of the ppl who go overseas to study, buy a gorgeous gown for the ball, then return it the next day after wearing it..are malaysians) do you trust them now? admit it. we are bad.

this creature (sorry i can't bring myself to call her a woman/lady/person) had to start being really vulgar, shouting and screaming obscenities with every breath. she even thumped the cashier table repeatedly while threatening us and screaming. i do doubt whether she can carry on a normal conversation. i managed to keep my temper in check (no small feat) and asked her to calm down and not shout so much and to please not use vulgarities. but obviously some ppl are born rude and uncivilised so what can i do. i told her i would call security and she got really mad cos she didnt steal anything, why should i call security. duh.. because you are offending my sensibilities and i find your mere presence irritating my soul. what a waste of space. yes i can be quite mean when you finally make me snap. she's lucky i didn't call the police! so we had to call our friendly neighborhood restaurant owner next door for backup in case she turned violent. well, because she actually threatened to get ppl to beat us up once we closed shop.

sigh... some ppl. really spoilt our night ok. and it was the eve of a public holiday. my sister burst into tears after that interesting specimen finally gave up, and i was quite shaken as well cos i have never been the recipient of such outright hatred and racism (yes, she asked us anak bohsia to go back to china where we came from and many worse connotations) and yes, violence as well. i had to ask Ad to pray for my sister and me cos i just felt so disturbed. you don't want to be racist, but sometimes, when a certain race always behaves a certain way ie. with abuse and violence, what does it say about their kind in general? sheesh.

i would have actually asked my sister to give her a refund if she had been polite and civil. but i guess you can't blame someone who can't learn any better. it's like forcing an ape to speak on civil rights at an international forum. simply impossible. actually, i think teaching that ape manners is easier. and just on principle (and ok i admit just to vent my anger and show her she can't boss us around) we purposely stood our ground and refused point blank to give her a refund.

what an infuriating incident. hhmmpphh.

on siew-che-ness & expectations

2006-05-16T10:17:00.000+08:00

my nearest and dearest recently bestowed upon yours truly the title of 'siew che' or however you spell it. then we had a lively discussion about the merits of this honour. hmmm.. i believe people have this skewed perception about siew che's. what exactly does it mean?

someone who doesn't do housework? (i do - except for toilets and mopping)
only eats in air-cond places? (what rubbish)
very pampered? (too wide a term to define)
someone who enjoys the finer things in life (nothing wrong here as long as you're balanced abt it)

beats me... i really don't know. and it doesn't help that my dearest cannot give me a satisfactory description! that's always the problem with guys. ok, i am loosely generalising here. i am a strong melancholic person, hence i tend to be very analytical to the point of being irritating. soooo...it has yet to be concluded the reason i am now a siew che. haha.. but i don't really mind. i take pride in it. what's wrong with wanting to be pampered? admit it, everyone wants to be. it's a matter of whether the other person is willing, or is able to. but it's no harm dreaming and wanting it... where's all the fun if we can't fantasize about what we want?

i know i know... i have to manage my expectations also. just went through a marriage counselling session on expectations. heavy topic (especially the parts about finance, parenting etc), but we sailed through with relatively few bumps. that's because i know what he expects and he knows what i expect. although some expectations will take a little bit more effort (actually a lot la) to fulfil, nevertheless the good thing is we are both willing to make the effort. i'm quite glad his expectations of me are realistic though. i'm not sure about mine, but he said it was all a cinch. hah. we'll see. some were quite detailed. for example, if i state that i expect him to repair the tv, he will. but WHEN? aha.. that's the important question. poor him though. he wishes i would go camping and all things outdoor related. and i am SO not the outdoor person. it will probably take a miracle forme to change there. i actually wouldn't mind if the weather here isn't as scorching. meaning, if i were on a nice roman holiday, i would probably take to the outdoors immediately. hmm... okaaaay... now i see where the siew che comment is coming from.

anyway i do admit i can be quite siew che. the fact that i was a little embarrassed at listing down certain expectations of marriage is testament to that. sigh... how to change? i think it's environmental conditioning. hah. ok blame the parents now. but seriously, it's really the years of what you have been exposed to and experienced. sometimes i feel bad about being picky about certain things, but it's so innate i can't really help it. i am unconsciously picky about lots of things. i only admit it in hindsight.

for instance, i never realised i only eat certain fruits.and only a certain banana or grape at that! it's quite amusing when i really sit down to think about it. if someone hadn't pointed that out to me, i would never have realised. i always say i eat anything. but when i micro-analyse, it actually means i can eat all types of food, but only a selective, specific sub-type.

he concludes that i am the type of girl that needs to be taken care off. that's nice. at least he knows that. haha.. one expectation noted and understood. but i am so thankful i have the emotional freedom and ease to actually list down my expectations and talk it out with my dearest. i don't think many couples have that luxury (if i can call i that). topics like this are potential mine fields so many ppl keep it to themselves, hoping and wishing that their other half can read their mind and somehow fulfil those expectations. i am not embarrassed about telling Ad my expectations, and i don't think he is either. i'm only embarrassed when i have to tell someone else!

to actually reach this stage of communication and friendship is something i have taken for granted previously. but when i really think about it, and when i read those agony aunt pages on sundays, i realise that not many relationships have as open a communication channel as i have. i am eternally grateful for this. i've always assumed that this is one of the perks of being in a relationship - that you have someone to listen to, who listens back, and acts as a sounding board as well, someone you're not ashamed to share your innermost thoughts with. now i know i should be really grateful to have this. imagine if i can't tell Ad that i can't stand washing cups which had milk in it cos i can't stand the smell. who else will wash it? darn.. i have just proven that i am siew che after all.

to stay or not to stay

2006-05-06T10:18:00.000+08:00

i have been asked whether i would consider applying for a PR in australia, the land of BBQs, laidback beaches and laidback everything. hmmm.. it's a good question to think over. i'm not really sure what my decision will be. but maybe just apply for it to cover all bases? who knows what will happen in our country in the next 10 yrs? truth be told, altho i do like staying here, i don't really have much faith in my government.

i mean, can you blame me? what with moral policing, punishment if you don't pray in a mosque on fridays, national debates over the wearing of tudungs in schools etc etc, i do feel like we're getting petty over the pettiest of things. are there no issues AT ALL that they can spend taxpayers' money on? for goodness sake. it's all talk anyway. if they REALLY do want to rid the public service of corruption etc, the ACA won't be going after the small fishes. what about the really big fish out there? a 15 year old school boy can name you at least 2. in my humble, insignificant opinion, the 1st thing they shld do is limit the term of service of any govt official. i mean, if you're in that comfort zone for 15, 20 years... i rest my case. i understand that govt officials don't get paid a lot. so where do all the bungalows, imported big tinted cars come from? not to mention that if their homes do get robbed, they are very vague about how much 'cash' was lost. if the press dares to mention it, it's always in the six-figure region. wow! hhmm.. maybe they don't get paid much, but the perks sure do add up.

lately, there was a survey published in The Star, listing the reasons overseas grads don't want to come back to work. come on, you don't really need a survey to tell you the obvious! money aside, can you actually compare the quality of life in the UK to malaysia? not just the UK, but the US, australia? there, they have a life. the potential to enjoy the money they work so hard for. opportunities to travel, learn, take fulfilling breaks, have a quality family life. here, it's work, work, work and more work. most of my friends rarely eat dinner at home. dinner is a rushed affair, not a meal to be enjoyed with family or friends. it is rare for a whole family to have a sit-down meal at the end of a work day. if you don't eat out, it's usually a re-heated microwave meal. or not eating at all.if you do have the privilege to cook dinner at home after you get back form work, you're tired out after the washing up and just want to crash into bed. every day it's like that. the monotony is only punctuated with church activities, cell group, or the random coffee get togethers. thank god for that. but it does tire you out, especially if you come home at 8pm every day. if you have to wake up at 7 the next morning, you need to sleep by 11 or 12. what can you do after dinner? you're just so sapped of energy it takes great courage to even want to clean the house!

let's talk about the cost of living.. that's a sore point with me. i have friends who work all over the world and we do compare notes. just a simple example that we yuppies can relate to. a cup of starbucks. rm 13 versus GBP 2 or SGD 5. we're talking about earning the same absolute salary here. as a professional here and over there. hhmm... i can buy a Zara suit in London for GBP100. here, it's like RM 500-600! would you spend 5-10% of you salary on a suit? but it can easily be done over there. how about books? i read voraciously but it's an expensive habit! i do have to curb my thirst for knowledge here. how can you even afford good books anymore? and for someone like me who finishes 1 or 2 in a week, it's really not affordable.

what with the price rise for everything, our real income is decreasing as inflation rises. and our cost of living is escalating everyday. to our malaysian government, we would appreciate some control here. you may not know how the average malaysian leaves, because let's face it, you don't even get stuck in a jam with us! you get your motorcade to pave the way for you, causing us more grief on the roads. you don't have to Q up to get any of your administrative work done. you don't know what it feels like to wait and wait and wait, the only way out being a bribe just to cross the red tape. i do not condone bribing, but i do understand why some ppl do it. so kill me for being so un-christian like.

i have personally experienced instances when you're turned away just because the person at the counter is in a bad mood. try applying for a CJ-5 (sales tax exemption) from the customs dept. and the govt came up with this to encourage local manufacturers to compete. so why make it so damn difficult to apply for one? not to mention there are no set procedures to go about it. if you're lucky, you get one in 5 days. if you get a grumpy erson at the counter, she will come up with 'your company applied for so many materials already. we cannot give more'. says who? we are the ones who have to take the trouble to compile all the documentation you asked for. you are the ones who are so fussy in that you have to apply separately for each PORT the material is imported from, not to mention each SUPPLIER, each ITEM, etc etc. give us a break. i hate going to any public service dept. it is a guaranteed spoiler of my day. they piss me off so much! and you have to smile and kowtow to them becos your CJ-5 is URGENTLY needed for customs clearance. and even when you're stewing under that fake stewpid smile, they have the cheek to ask you if you have bought them KFC for lunch! ARGHHH!!!

down under sounds real good about now.

2006-05-05T15:13:00.000+08:00

so many of my friends are getting married these days. we have graduated from talking about homework, who's looking at who during tuition classes, who's going where for further education, who's going out with who, and now... who's getting married. give us a couple more years and we'll soon be talking about the best nursery schools and child education. scary.

it's quite fun when a close friend is getting married. you're involved in all the shenanigans that come with preparing for a wedding - the flowers, deco, logistics etc etc. most of the time, the cell group plays a big part in offering their wedding planning services. i must say it does foster closer ties and camaraderie within the group of friends. not to mention it's actually a practice run for our own big days. hah. ooo.. the hen nights are fun too!

random pictures of our preparation for various weddings:

Pretty brides:

Pretty in Purple for Larry & Emilia's big day
:

one of my best friend's wedding:

lalala

2006-05-04T18:04:00.000+08:00

i never thought being fickle-minded was bad...i mean, the choice is mine after all. but now, even i am annoyed at myself! i wish i had the confidence to carry through a decision once i've made it. i tend to waver and have excuses about one decision, proceeded by excuses for the other! sigh.. there's no pleasing myself. i wonder if it's just a character flaw, or am i merely being a girl (yea, shoot me) or is it a lack in confidence? call me when you can answer that. i have to admit though, that i do like to dissect every decision into minute pieces just to satisfy myself that i have covered every base.

i do admire those people who can make a decision, stick by it and argue for the reasons they made it in the first place. i actually have no problems doing the latter myself. only the former two haha. but don't they ever wonder WHAT IF. is it wrong to even ask that question? does asking it mean you are not contented, easily shaken, or have nothing better to do? proponents of not asking will argue that it's pointless to ask that question anyway. cos what's done is done and most of the time you can't do anything abt the aftermath anymore. so you're just picking at the wound. once you've made the decision, be happy with it! it has something to do with psychologically supporting your own decision hence it will BE the right decision blah blah..

i, on the other hand think that there's nothing wrong with wondering. keeps my mind occupied hehe. it's so interesting to extrapolate the different outcomes of certain decisions you made IF ONLY you did it differently. yeah, sometimes it's depressing, but it can also mean that you're strong enough to move on and accept it. it doesn't mean you're not contented. so there.

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on being mean

2006-05-03T16:49:00.000+08:00

why are we mean? we were taught not to be (most of us at least). the weirdest thing is, at the very moment BEFORE i say anything mean, i already KNOW it is mean. and i still let loose! sigh.. it boils down to self control then right? urgh... what does that make me. a work in progress :)

i'm not proud of it, but bear with me. a few more hard knocks and self-control would slowly seep in. the aftermath is always painful. my conscience butts in, guilt fights for supremacy with remorse, and i feel like i've kicked the other person where it hurts most. stewpid stewpid. it's no fun to hurt someone needlessly, what more someone you love dearly. hard lesson to learn. but i'm glad i'm learning it now.

Happy Birthday Papa

2006-05-02T16:12:00.000+08:00

So we celebrated my dad's 55th birthday with an intimate family dinner at marche on sunday. it is his new favourite restaurant. this is a cycle i know only too well. give him another 2 mths or so, and marche will soon be extinct in his memory. personally, i am a little wary of going there now, since we have had family dinners there every saturday for the past 2 mths i think. *groan*. aren't we adventurous.

we proceeded back home after dinner to usher in his bday at midnight, but we had to do it at 11pm as he was nodding off to CSI. but i think it fair to say a good time was had by all.

i can't believe he's 55 already. when i do think about it, it kinda scares me. he's always been dad. he's always been there for us. in his eyes, we have not grown up. to me, he's the best father he can be, and i do feel really really blessed to be his kid. i know i've led a relatively charmed childhood, thanks to my parents. adulthood is another matter! but they're the sort of parents that have no qualms about relinquishing us into the big,bad world to learn how to live. they have equipped us with godly principles, a sound education and upbringing. the rest is up to us. which is fair, i must say. i do hope i can do as well by my future kids.

happy birthday dad.. you mean the world to me (even when you're in a bad mood).

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i organised a surprise bday celebration for my dad at the office. got all 80 staff gathered at the carpark with 2 massive cakes and some cheesy party thingies which you blow/crack/snap to cause a racket. he was stuck in a meeting while all the rest were waiting in the sun. poor things. in the end, had to scare him that his self-levelling floor coating cracked. jsut so he would run down to see. initially wanted to sound the fire alarm at 10am so everyone will run out on teh pretext of an emergency. but he is 55 after all. anyway, the surprise went well, and i think he was quite touched that everyone turned up.

japan

2006-05-01T15:25:00.000+08:00

my family sans my brother recently went to japan for a short break. i just remembered what i liked about it. the food! you can tell i had a crummy lunch just now. i love their food presentation! it's just so gorgeous and begging for you to take its picture. which i conceded to, at the risk of looking really backward. but it's really worth taking, for remembrance sake especially when you're staring at a bowl of maggi mee! i think i will make more of an effort to present my food in a more apetising way now!

and somehow, they're coffee is different! i never knew japan had good coffee. even the coffee we get from the buffet is
good. i think we had food overload as every meal provided was simply scrumptious. actually i only enjoyed the food and flowers in japan. shopping was impossible as everything is ridiculously overpriced. i really pity the japanese. how do they survive?? no wonder they go crazy when they come to malaysia or singapore. or any other country for that matter. now i understand why LV and Gucci always have at least 1 or 2 japanese staff, whether in new zealand or italy.

everywhere you go, they have these cute looking 'mua chee' thingies. for eating. in all their colourful, candy coloured glory. and every single box is displayed with its colourful plastic sample. so you know what you're getting! we mostly bought it cos there's nothing else to buy, and cos the packaging is so cute. you can tell my dad is a shopaholic too. either that or we're just plain greedy. i think we were the only family buying all those stuff back to eat.

i went crazy when i saw the cherry blossoms. trigger happy. they are just so so so pretty. like cotton candy. and it grows just EVERYWHERE even right in the middle of a mountain, or by dingy factory lots. sadly it only blossoms like once a yr. and for only abt 2 weeks, so we were pretty fortunate to see them in their glory. the pictures don't do them justice at all.

pretty pretty flowers. now you know why i was trigger happy.

i know i am crazy snapping so many pictures of flowers, but i adore flowers. surprise surprise. actually everything else in japan was a bit drab. the buildings are boring, i couldn't understand much of what the tour guide was saying, he was talking way too much anyway (his goal is for us to stay awake all the time). i found him quite annoying actually. he was moralising about how parents of our generation dump their kids with babysitters etc etc to go and work (except japanese women) . bla bla bla. and about how spoilt kids are nowadays (except japanese kids). boy, you do get tired of it sooner or later. we were all lectured to. what a stressful holiday. to be forced to examine your child rearing principles and other life issues. i was so tempted to stuff my earplugs in my ears but i was too chicken. didn't want to offend him in case i get an earful about disrespect of today's youth.

i did enjoy the stay in one of those typical japanese inns. duno what you call them already cos i wasn't paying attention. but we slept on tatamis, and in kabukis. and we actually went for their famous hot springs bath. where you have to get in completely buff! my sister was so gung-ho about going in, until she saw everyone staring at the doors waiting for the next self-conscious victim to come in. anyway i told her we were half the age of the others anyway, so what better time to show off. haha. how mean. it was quite liberating though. but the water was so hot i started to feel faint and had to get out after 10 minutes.

the trials and tribulations of maturity

2006-04-28T17:38:00.000+08:00

i have issues with this person called patience. she eludes me all the time! i don't know what i have done to piss her off so royally. *sob*. my attempts at courting her can be likened to my attempts at exercise. the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. i am so pathetic. and this must be the reason why i am always faced with situations where i need her; but because i probably didn't make enough effort to endear her to me, i find that her response to me is usually delayed, or worse still, i am stood up. i know i know, it is all my own fault really. the trials and tribulations of maturity.

i marvel at those people who have this close bonding with patience. how do they do it? on closer inspection, one specimen i have observed closely for the past 1.5 years has drawn me a rough picture of the do's and don't's. i think this person has gone through enough disappointments to realise that it's pointless to sweat the small stuff. nothing came easy, hence that naturally trained him to endure and persevere at greater length. as opposed to me. i am so chagrined at how shallow my life lessons have been (in comparison), yet i am sooo thankful as well. of course i don't wish for difficult times, but in all our 'dear god, please teach me patience' prayers, have we ever considered that in order for us to learn this virtue, we have to go through tribulations that will nurtue this value in us? it's inevitable. i hate it, but there you go. duh.. i'm sure YOU'VE been enlightened waaaay before this post. it's just that today welcomed me with a situation that required my friend patience, so i decided to write about it. maybe when i read this again in the future i will remember my journey into maturity and laugh at how trivial i can be. by that time i would be SO mature that i don't need a reminder anyway. hah.

i inherited a mobile phone from my brother. it is MUCH more technically advanced than my old faithful. so i got a little annoyed that the alarm DID NOT COME ON THIS MORNING!!! and it kept hanging on me, and i couldn't do ANYTHING! not to mention the fact that i kept pressing the wrong key and got all the wrong applications. oh well, i love it now. i can even show a photo of my zit on it. it's so clear! and i love the games :) hhmm... i don't think i mind long meetings now..

malaysia - the land of freedom

2006-04-27T12:07:00.000+08:00

i just read in the star about how muslims who don't attend friday prayers at mosques will be punished. hhmm.. interesting. i just cannot believe what i read nowadays. it's flabbergasting (and amusing). i won't opine about this. i do live in malaysia after all. the land of freedom and inflated prices (due to escalating oil prices and reduction of subsidies, which now cannot be used to improve our public transport system - am i surprised?) what joy.

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ever wonder who regulates the regulators in our country? for example, we have the famed Securities Commission, watch dog of investors extraordinaire. who regulates them? they are allowed to run loose and enforce their 'policies' on anyone, regardless of whether there is a basis for these policies in the first place. oh, but they're AUDITING. it is a necessary evil. oh, that explains why they need copies of every conveivable document that's ever been spewed out of a printer. hhmm.. but i bet they really big firms arenot subject to this

ever wonder why we have dodgy firms being given the green light to list their shares? and we investors trust that these have undergone a filtering process. ever notice how, once these shares are listed and the original owners have cashed out, the company is left to its doldrums and investors are left holding the shell? why don't the diligent officers at the SC spend more time auditing these companies instead? and making sure that listed companies are credible? the public is injecting their hard earned money into them after all. but what do i know?

ok, this is JUST a figment of my imagination, so pay no notice. i've heard rumours that some officers do accept a token of appreciation to speed up the process of listing, or just to approve the listing. *gasp* can this be true? of course not! what do you think? do you think our government, who prides itself on transparency would actually allow such things to happen? i'm sure i only read this in one of my chic lit books. i shouldn't read too much of those.

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i just LURVE chic lit. it's escapism at its best. neurotic girl goes through life's ups and downs and emerges the victor with bumbling, lovable, cool boyfriend. and the journey is always punctuated with lovely cool clothes, shoes, handbags. i'm so shallow. haha.

2006-02-01T13:41:00.000+08:00